I Love Books!

I just finished The Deepest Waters, a novel by Dan Walsh, inspired by the sinking of the SS Central America in 1857, off the coast of South Carolina, and carrying 15 tons of gold. As I read Walsh's novel, I was gripped with the same comparisons that Laura, a survivor,  frequently made. My worst days are better than the best days many people of the world have known. Sobering, and motivating to remember to choose a grateful heart. Walsh did an amazing job describing thoughts and feelings a survivor must have experienced, and more specifically, one so recently married who thought she was simultaneously widowed. He captured the kindness, as well as the greed, that often surfaces among those experiencing tragedy together. Great job, Walsh!

Making the Most

I have only seven minutes. Today is busy with a morning listening to second graders read, and then running to Dad Pusey's for afternoon. Two years ago I might have had plans for one activity all day, and filled in with solitaire, sudoku, and LOTS of reading.

But life has changed drastically. We are in Idaho, Larry is retired, and the demands of that life seem very far away.

Today I want to make the most of every moment. Every moment is an opportunity. A moment to make a child smile, to compliment a weary teacher, to tease my lover and best friend, to pray for the ones I love who are walking through hard times. And savor! I want to savor their responses! Remember what they share in response. Listen with ears and with heart. Listen with attentiveness to THEM, not thinking about what I want out of them next.

Most of all, I want to be thankful. That I have today. Health. Freedom. Companionship.

I'm glad to have survived my storms and lived to anticipate another spring.

God was, and IS good.

Whew!

It's been quite a while since I've written down thoughts -- they've been all over the board. We experienced seven months on the housing market from start to finish with two buyers and two different stories. The family who bought the WA house turned out to be friends and work associates, so we were thrilled to pass along our place of memories to others we know will establish many of their own.  And we saw how the timing was just perfect, for them and for us.

On August 13 we closed on our WA house and signed for a new ID house, all in the same day.  Later that week we moved our belongings by truck(s) into the new house, returned in three days so Larry could get back to work, and are now living in friends' garage apartment as we await the three more weeks till his retirement is official.  No storage time was necessary in a third location, no extra moves.

It's been crazy, fortunate, unbelievable, and grueling.  Some weeks I prayed just to make it through one day at a time. During the Idaho bidding war I completely backed out of hope and let Larry handle negotiations. Even with a contract I couldn't believe in case another bombshell burst my dream.

Now, with only sixteen more workdays, Larry is excited yet still very focused. He wants to be free, but wants to finish well.  Today I feel calm.  I think I have learned a little.

"In everything give thanks...."  Maybe those tears are blessings.............

The Right Time

Early morning reflections on a new book are making sense of my past two or three years. A book I could not have digested then makes sense now. I received it at the right time.

Eugene Peterson, author of the famed "Message" version of the Holy Bible, has written "Leap Over A Wall" about Old Testament David, the infamous shepherd and giant killer, adulterer and murderer, King of the Jews and friend of God. Peterson describes the wilderness to which David ran and for possibly ten years inhabited while Saul was stalking him.

This wilderness is barren and cold, with only scarce comfort or provision. David made it his home, when nothing else was available. He LIVED with it. How many times have I said, "God why do I have to LIVE WITH THIS?!" to which God has replied, "but are you REALLY living with it?"

Past posts will show that I felt I endured a long "wilderness" through much of 2008-10. I could not understand people and events happening around me, and I felt no comfort, and barely any provision. That scarcity forced me to depend on the little I had, the promise of a better day. And it came, at the right time.

Peterson demonstrates that wilderness is something to embrace, that loneliness can take one deeper into himself than a hectic life will allow, into the quiet of scarcity. Just as God spoke in the still, small voice to Moses, he speaks to me. Still I can only hear it when I turn everything OFF.

My most recent wilderness has been the lonely solitude of an empty house. I have accepted fewer teaching positions in 2011 because, with the difficult economy, I felt others supporting families or beginning careers needed jobs much more than I. The solitude has been difficult, to say the least, even maddening, and yet it seemed right, first to get me caught up on the less desirable tasks of home, and then for my own renewal and strengthening. One morning God awakened me with the quote from Isaiah, "in quietness and confidence shall be your strength." (Isaiah 30:15) I wondered if possibly I needed to embrace this rather than fight it.

It is still a wilderness to me, scant and cold, but not barren. It's pregnant, with hope, opportunity, and means. I now can listen, care, and pray for people and causes which before only touched my heart. I can take opportunity to touch them, and I have utilized ways, or means, of aiding people, whereas this tug was formerly assuaged with an end-of-the-year contribution or "gift". Peterson notes that, in an age where so much is written about self-fulfillment, society is most self-absorbed, or selfish.

The wilderness of my past was painful, but it could have been pregnant. Others had passed through before me, and knew there was hope. The hope lay within the wilderness, but I thought it lay without. I wasn't ready to listen to anyone's voice.

So now, at the right time, I see . . . better . . . the opportunity that lies around me. Help, and then hope, comes at the right time.

The Thanksgiving Learning Curve

We just came from a few days with the older generation (Larry's parents), then a few with the younger (our TN kids) ... and their offspring as well. We came home more thankful, and aware that age is daunting. A guy on the plane shared "aging isn't for sissies...."

At Larry's folks, we spent two mornings listening to reflections on people and places of yesterday. Then, in Tennessee during Black Friday shopping, Larry was the doting Papa with squealing GKs on a hill slide in the leaves, a PB&J picnic under the trees, and a tight squeeze into the play tent. I enjoyed time shopping with Jenny, but also discussing things young moms can seldom debate, like opinions, reasons, anything requiring thought and not listening for "too much quiet" in the other room.

As I enjoyed someone else's cooking and celebrated restaurants Wenatchee does not have, I realized how I take for granted our food. We toss rotted fruit and veggies with no remorse. So

much of the world eats whatever it can, from C-rations, to years-old canned stuff, to a little watery soup or rice.

And as we missed our own beds at home, our multiple outlets, our preferred breakfast foods, NO PETS! we remembered that many grandmas and papas with whom we rub elbows each week share sleeping spots with other family members needing comfort and warmth.

These exhausting trips mean days of loving family by more than just phone. We witnessed (great-grand) parent pride as they played a dvd of one sibling bragging on another. Our kids wisely deal with parenting issues we're glad we no longer have as their 4- and 6-yr-olds love each other with squeals and fights. The visual experience is so rewarding!

Nerve-wracking discipline, exhausting road trips, and creative budgeting seem overwhelming, but really-- It is a wonderful life! Through it we teach and create Love, for family and others, for Our Maker, the First Giver of all life.

So don't ever wonder if it's worth it. Just wait and see!

Hug a Mom!

IT’s been an interesting day. Four young mothers passionately shared with me the pressures they face as they prioritize family.

All these young mothers are “working”, some for dollars, some for kisses; all full-time moms and part-time contributors to other organizations. All have education beyond high school but are more concerned with how their kids adjust to daily life than how their professional careers progress. They have chosen to way-lay frills and treats that other colleagues take for granted, like daily coffees, weekly dinners out, or occasional shopping sprees. Some coupon to save on groceries. Some trade babysitting to have a few moments alone. Each longs for a few hours with their special men each week, and appreciate beyond words the helping hands from grandparents.

But no words tell the fervor with which they described to me their busy schedules, their dilemmas with one child’s development as compared to another sibling, their longings to be the perfect moms to their little people. They have the hardest jobs on the planet.

THANK GOD FOR MOMS! For the nurturers who want to push us towards the edge of the nest, but swoop close if we look about to crash. Thank God for the mornings they awake remembering one more thing we’d asked of them, or a glint in the eye that only they understood, and praying God will give us strength and wisdom today for the challenges that scare us.

Long ago we were each the little person who longed for and needed this kind of mom. Some of us had moms busy with other siblings who never saw our pleas for one-on-one time. Others may not have even had mom home when we went to bed … for many different reasons. Still others had this kind of mom … and didn’t realize it.

Our little people may not realize it either. But moms today need encouragement as much as our moms did. Whether a work-for-pay or stay-at-home mom, all of them get tired of the 24-7 hours their jobs demand. Very little time off, very little performance approval, very little training, and – sick time? NOT in the book!

Hug a mom today! She’s doing it for them, but she’s also doing it for you! Her little guys will be in charge when we’re hobbling around. I say we cheer these moms who say, “Be kind to the little guy, the old folks, the kids who feel alone or misunderstood.” We’ll fit one or more of these descriptions all too soon.

YEAH, MOMS! YOU’RE GREAT! WE LOVE YOU! WE’RE PROUD OF YOU!

Let’s tell them so … often!

YOU and ME -- tomorrow!

This morning I had a long talk with a friend who knows her spouse's days are numbered -- a place where none of us "soon-to-be" seniors want to go.

They have been married 51 years, as of yesterday. They've weathered a decade of cancer scares, changes in culture, the economy, and family. They've seen the "better or worse" of life. They are the YOU and ME of tomorrow!

I lost my mother a few years ago, and for most of that time I've struggled with anger that she neglected her health in those last few years. I'm beginning to view life through her eyes, trying to imagine her fears before the inevitable came to light.

At lunch, two "soon-to-be" seniors escorted their mother to the restroom, then came back to check. Was she aware, embarrassed, grateful?

As I left church three "seasoned" senior ladies left together. I'm glad they have each other! How does solitude feel at this stage? How invaluable are the comfort and care of friends!

This morning my friend echoed her confidence that TODAY is the most important gift anyone has! Today includes freedom, love, and safety. It offers life, hope, and happiness. Tomorrow may or may not include those gifts -- all we have is TODAY!

GOD, help me count the blessings all around me, the big and little, the fleeting and steadfast! Help me skip right over temptations for "stuff" or "ease" and go right to things these seniors know to cherish. May I revel in time with beloveds, whether email, photos, memories, or a prayer! May I be thankful they are alive and free, and not fret that I do not see them often enough. May I be thankful that YOU are, and that you care!

Aaaaaaahhhhhh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY

Such a big HUG!

For YOU!

How did they do IT!

We had dinner with a good friend and her husband tonight. She turned 60 today! You probably wouldn't know it from the way she lives; she works way too many hours, has overcome 2 major illnesses, is a grandma and a volunteer. She is good and she likes what she does -- but I don't think she knows how to slow down, just yet . . . like most of the rest of us.

Lately I've been mulling this "aging" thing, trying to figure out how to "go with the flow", how to accept the limitations that infringe and interfere with my life! I love the classroom, but find that 3 days a week is my limit! Some nights I sleep like a log; others I lay awake half the night! You don't want to know all my complaints! I get tired of hearing them myself -- but they are still present, slowing me down.

Survival has necessitated this reduced pace. Age isn't my only burden, but when other pressures dissipate, I hope to regain my momentum. Man, I don't look like my mother or grandmother looked, so why should I live like they did? Still the aches are there.....

Us boomers are struggling to age gracefully. We have creams and diets, programs and pills that we're constantly told will keep us young. We look better and enjoy more than people our age seemed to enjoy 30 and 40 years ago.  Our generation has long declared we will live forever. We're struggling to defy age, but it's a losing battle; Ponce deLeon never did find that fountain of youth.

Loneliness is one of our nagging fears. Parents tell us fewer and fewer of their peers are alive. We watch our parents sit alone while we run with grand- and great-grandkids. We don't want to be alone like they are.

Pain is another fear. Pain means I should acknowledge limitations -- but not until I absolutely must! Modern medicine has pills for everything, but pills have side effects, and discomfort on yet another level. Is there no escape!

One day during in my loneliness I suddenly remembered a verse from the Bible: "In quietness and confidence [will be] your strength" from the OT book of Isaiah. I'm no Isaiah scholar, but I do have frequent flashbacks from many years listening to my dad preach. I began thinking of the soundness in that verse. Our culture spends way too little time in quietness, and most of us long for the renewal from time to ponder, reason, and just rest. Oooooo -- strength?

I began to wonder if there is something I can gain from all this "opportunity". Some "strength"! What if I learn to COPE, and become a role model for my friends, my kids, for anyone who will have to face what none of us want? I've also found free time to help people I care about, that a full-time job would not have permitted.   I can spend more time reading, chatting, thinking, etc. and build new strength to cope with my losses and disappointment, finding new rhythm.

Few people are said to "age gracefully" these days. Wherever you find yourself, whether almost 30, 60, or  90, you have something to give and someone else wants to receive!

Live on!

The Joy of Sacrifice

Most parents remember the excitement of babies learning to shake a rattle, clap -- or walk! A child is so proud when he or she masters the balancing act and can forge ahead, draw a laugh, or entice a chase.

It's still cute when he or she thinks the discovery his own, when he follows your lead to share , or investigates at your prompting.

Then we HOPE that he will make friends, and we smile at our ingenious plots for "perfect" playmates.

In youth when an idea bombs, and mom or dad is blamed, we might have helped but often not.

In young adulthood, their own choices often hurt our children, especially if they suggest we should have made life easier. "You didn't have to do that, MOM!" Sometimes it's one more lesson for mom or dad, but sometimes it's time to take responsibility for intense pain. Divorce, financial pressure, sickness without good insurance. Life is tough, and we can't protect them anymore.

This week I again dealt with gratitude in discomfort. I want gratitude to be clearly seen in my life. But I've had struggles this week, and the reminders to go with.

Monday night I was sitting in SEA-TAC airport on a 6 hr wait between flights, after a 3-day cross-country jaunt and back, spent and frustrated at the inconvenience. Three hours in, a pleasant Vietnamese gentleman and wife arrived and he asked how I was. His gentle smile was inviting, so I sought his story. He had been a young military strategist during the Viet Nam war, escaping with wife and children to the US in 1975. Repeatedly he shared gratitude to be alive in the US. -- I had been continually complaining about my trivial inconvenience! He had joy in his sacrifice.

Two nights ago I was tired and frustrated with a computer re-format. Formats are uncomplicated but lengthy. Clicking, re-clicking, and waiting. The choice was made, but I was sullen with regret.

Twice in five days I was reminded hard times shouldn't be wasted; both times I flopped. I'm glad I was reminded.

Twice I was motivated to reach higher.
To learn from the moment.
To just savor the joy.
To accept the sacrifice.

I'm trying, with God's help!

What if my greatest disappointments.....

I happened onto a new song a few days ago that seems to be tying my whole life together. The book I am reading, the Japanese tsunami, the midnight headaches, an aging father with gratitude for each day’s sunshine. My perspective is changing. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ, Blessings, by Laura Story)

Volume 2 of my current book series describes the look of a leper. Ugh! Worse--Scary! Ghoulish! Not to mention the abandonment of these forsaken outcasts. Leprosy is uncommon nowadays, but till the advent and understanding of hygiene and modern health standards, it was the most dreaded life condition, regardless of political unrest, weather disaster, or even familial upheaval. Undetected and untreated, leprosy begins as scaly sores that become crusty sites, consuming a victim’s flesh. The disease shrivels and sends ooze from fingers, ears, eye sockets or any other nerve center, killing nerve endings and robbing captives of sensitivity in the affected areas.

The ability to feel pain is not just beneficial from the health standpoint; pain has blessing even for the soul. If I don’t know something is broken, how will I fix it? If I don’t know I am sick, how will I get medical help? If I don’t compare bad days to good, how will I be grateful? How will I gauge what healthy condition, or financial level, to which I should return?

There is more to the lesson than comparison. There is strength in seeking joy! What sunshine is there, in the darkness of my darkest days?!

The author of my book describes the leper camp rejoicing in hope! (oh, really!) They celebrated a child born to a dying mother, gazing raptly on life in its unblemished form! They enjoyed the beauty of a day, and the joy of friendship! They knew lifelong loyalty among those with whom they lived. At great price they learned to value what they may have otherwise never known.

Early this week I had a wonderful experience – and paid a high price. It was worth the sacrifice! My weekend had been too, too busy, and by Monday morning, I needed a day of solitude and rest. Al contraire, I received a 6:30 AM call to sub a challenging class. I accepted it, knowing I needed more strength and wisdom than were in my reserve. I prayed for strength and wisdom, in the shower, on the road, through my breakfast, and as I walked to the room. This school day was the most exciting I have known all year. A teacher remembers why he or she chose to teach when kids engage, when class time becomes more exciting than taunting each other, and when they seem to understand the lesson. I admire the regular teacher of this class because of his amazing patience. This day I envied him. Things were clicking, and they were responding. Regardless what happened tomorrow, this day was a joy.

But at the end of the day, in the middle of the night, I awoke with my neck throbbing, the reminder of my rest-lacking weekend. Grabbing a cold pack from the freezer, and Excedrin from the cabinet, I dozed lightly till dawn. The headache followed me through the next day and even into a second night, but I couldn’t forget the good day at school. Relief was my first choice, but the thrilling day was worth the awful night!

Should I be subject to the least or the greatest of my dreads, I want to always find joy! If the joy can calm me now, perhaps it will “ooze” onto others who are missing refreshing breezes. I’d rather have my problems than yours! Ha! But today I am thankful to be alive!

Worth It?

If you received a special thank you like this, after driving 8 tense hours down and (another 8)back, time and again, in rain, fog, snow and slush, just wishing it was 3 instead of 8 hours -- wouldn't you also think it was entirely WORTH IT?!

Life Application

Learning is all about applying what you have heard or read. "Putting feet" to what you believe, as someone has said. Last Sunday I was privileged to listen to an "older" friend share about his life, the struggles in his wife's illness, and the opps he has to help people. He is thrilled to be friends with God, but his life is not easy.

This week I’ve noted several friends suffering. Sometimes a pot of soup helps, other times just prayer. Close friends I know have experienced loss, illness, personal tragedy, and even the unexplained.

Christ prayed passionately for his close friends, but he also walked with them through their struggles (like anger, death, business loss, injustice, illness). When he talked to God, he didn't ask that they (or we) be rescued from stress, but he offers his Presence, and Strength, and Wisdom, and wants us to try to do the same for others.

I hope you've been encouraged as you help a friend. It could be as intimate as checking all week on a sick co-worker, or even contributing disaster relief to the Japan Tsunami. We KNOW we need each other. Let's not foget it in our busyness.

Too Much Quiet

I spent the last two weeks with my girls, first in Nampa, then in Hillsboro. Great times! Just hanging out, watching late night TV, playing w grandkids, stringing beads, making earrings, eating in, and eating out--and enjoying sons-in-law as well.

The best part is getting to know my kids as adults. Seeing what they value, and how they live what they say they value. They are authentic, sincere, caring, patient. All of them. And they are not mats but models, for the rest of their families. They are growing, blooming, learning, sharing, seeking.

But sO good to get home to my mate, my good, good friend! I drove 5 hrs w only one 10 min break last Sunday. Weather wasn't worst imaginable, but far from the best. My greatest strain was the dark. My long distance vision in the dark is not what it used to be.

I'm home again, tired but catching up; thinking all this quiet is probably good for renewal. Yesterday morning a phrase from a Bible verse kept passing through my brain. "Your strength is in quietness and confidence." So I looked it up, read a lot that was before and after that part so I'd get more of a picture.

It was what I'd thought. Yuck. The quiet times have a purpose. Not just for falling asleep, or watching TV, or loosing oneself reading books or magazines. We can and should garner personal growth from the quiet times. The activities and noise of the not-quiet often keep us from really looking inward, but the quiet makes us--allows us--to do that.

First insight: I want to learn to be content wherever I am, under whatever conditions. If I don't make a decision to reach for that, I'll go crazy. God will help me all I want (not to say he will make it pure joy), but better that I set that goal now than be suddenly faced with walls of darkness that I had always fought.

Second insight: Everything will work out for the best. My quiet, my renewal, opps to connect with friends in-town and out, calls to aging parents, visits to aging friends. Seemingly too much quiet, but something I will find a way to use.

I hope you have the quiet you need, but even more, I hope you will accept what you don't have, knowing it has its season, its purpose. Everything is temporary -- at least on this side.

Enjoy the acceptance! Blessings!

New Grandma's Favorites

We have been with the grandkids this week. Quote of the week:

"Grandma, I take good care of my things. I just can't find them."

Second favorite:

Ian: "I spy something with my little eye, and the color of it is gray. And it is on someone's ear, and that someone is a grandma. What is it?"

Luke: "A germ."

(Where he got that, we'll never know, but he did mean to be funny. Dry humor. Must have got that gene from his Papa! :o)

Delayed Gratification

Fall was difficult for me this year. I was exhausted from a busy year of remodeling, change, and travel. I wanted and needed the emotional connection I get from subbing experiences, but I also felt reticent to take paying jobs that co-workers needed more than I did. I still wanted to teach, but decided to go to the bottom of the list.

So calls were few, or at least far between. It was a long dry period. What should have been a productive time at home turned into loneliness and isolation. Larry and I were still traveling -- four trips in two months -- but short connections on the road couldn't make up for friends I missed.

By the start of the new year, I became determined to get out, even if it was totally on a volunteer basis, and made arrangements to volunteer three days a week. "I'll do special projects, help in classrooms, or just observe...." I'd told the staff, "as long as it's ok that I come to the school." I was welcomed, and projects long overlooked were pulled from the bottom of the stack. I like detail work, and I like organizing. These were great solutions for my boredom.

Then the principal asked if I'd be willing to help an ESL staff member who was struggling to pass a test she needed in her work. "Of course, I'd love to!" I responded, and we immediately began meeting with Lupe after school, 3-4 PM, the three days/week I was at school. Many of those days Lupe worked with a special needs student much of the day; we studied together for an hour; then she rushed home to prepare a quick supper before returning for another 2 1/2 hours of evening childcare during the school's parent assistance programs. She worked hard, days, evenings, weekends. We became very tight friends, she very grateful for someone helping her decipher what to study, and me glad for an outlet for my "teaching" itch. I felt a purpose realized once again, and a gift given and received. Word got around about Lupe's diligent efforts, and this much loved teacher was admired again for her tenacity.

The test was today. Lupe was ready. She has gained incredible understanding of English and math in the five short weeks we've worked, and I was convinced she could easily bridge the 17 points needed to pass. I actually anticipated a 30 point climb beyond all her previous scores.

But the unexpected happened. Murphy's law? How often does injustice come to the most deserving? Too many. But how many times does the eager champion smile and say, "It's OK"? I was humbled.

Lupe had planned to arrive a little early, and was mentally and physically ready for the test. One other woman was also scheduled for the test today. She was insecure, and continually interrupted Lupe's concentration, asking Qs about the test, the restroom, and general chatter. It threw off Lupe's rhythm. She improved her score, but only gained 11 of the 17 points she needed. We were both disappointed.

Lupe told me a test proctor told her that when she next re-takes the test, if anyone else is testing, the proctor will take Lupe and the laptop into another room, to test in private. Someone else witnessed the injustice.

Why could Lupe not have received her prize today? With all her co-workers cheering and several helping her study, why could have Providence not seen fit to reward her diligence?

I think Lupe is known among the angels as an earthly saint who can be counted on to bear a cross for another. She is a very sweet spirit who communicates with intensely needy children, and can comfort and direct them, yet also care for family, co-workers, and other adults.

I was not the giver, in this story. I was the receiver. I received much more gratitude than I deserved, and also a lesson -- that I also deserved. Lupe achieved an amazing accomplishment! The greatest accomplishment was her sweet spirit, happiness regardless of the outcome! She realized this other lady, working toward the same goal, needed her kindness and patience -- and she put that ahead of her own satisfaction. She sacrificed. I did not. I was rewarded. So how many rewards were really given?

The Best Things!

It's my birthday today! Hmmmm .... what do I want?

A husband whose first words at 6 am are "happy birthday, dear" ...........

Text from a friend .............

Text from a sister ............

Call from my dad .............

6 AM text from a daughter .............

10 AM note from another daughter ..............

Yesterday's early wishes from still another daughter .............

Coffee with another friend ...........

A list of FB wishes to check and read !!!!!!!!!!!!!

What more could anyone wish for?????????????

Time with each one to just watch their faces, enjoy their joy, their love, their zest for life!

I'll continue to relish, and be thankful, and keep that time for days! No @($% or !!!! or **** can tell the thrill of sharing love. It's deep and sweet, confusing or clear, but solid and assuring.

What a wonderful time to be alive! To count each day as a gift, not only from the Giver, but from each one who shares him- or herself with me!

No better gift .......................

In the Meantime

Just read the blog of one of my children ... saw some new pics of grandkids ... felt some warm tears .........

Life has been very hectic lately. I've felt more stable in the past 2 months than in the past 2 years, partially from staying home, working on overdue projects ... working, working, working.

I know life is as it should be. I'm growing and learning. Listened to my husband chatter with excitement describing his awe at what only God could have orchestrated in his work. Felt some warm tears there too.

Read as my daughter explained how God is building her and her faith, and her joy in the process.

Heard another daughter expound thoughts and feelings about the growth and development of her family.

Am anticipating as the third offspring is waiting, in the doorway of a life-lesson. I'm not the teacher, so I don't know the lesson plan. I do know the Teacher, and I know he is Good.

Lots of waiting. I want to be with them. Hear their thoughts, watch their growth. They are too busy living to give constant reports, and living is about the process, not the reporting.

So I am doing something else in the meantime. And it is good!

I'm watching personal friendships become instruments of my own faith, tools in my own development, lessons in listening and waiting.

I'm appreciating the hope of the second chance, the next sunrise, the rest at day's end.

Think I'm learning the value of waiting! And the unexpected joy!

The Prize or the Price

OK, picture this!

Twenty squirmy-wormy, squiggly-wiggly kinder-bodies, slithering across the gym floor, all hunters on a 15-minute safari .... that was supposed to have been PE class..............

Lesson plans weren't working. Half of the class was either pouting, crying, pushing or bouncing, and the other half would very soon be lost .

I went for follow-the-leader. These little guys are so green! I never know if they understand English, and I forget their names from one week to the next. But with follow-the-leader, it's mostly the same kids that continually need to be re-aligned ... and easier to remember 5 names than all 20.

We started out as whinnying horses ... then headed back to the "group space" watering hole.

Next we became trumping elephants ... and regrouped at the watering hole.

Then we were leaf-eating giraffes, and roaring lions!

And finally the hunters ... stalking the prey ... with just a few minutes till we needed to line up..........

Mission met! Task accomplished! Safari a win!

Yes, I was leading the tromps through the "jungles" along the basketball lines! I was trumping, and roaring, and they were following! And when we became the hunters, one little guy fell to his belly, with a "this is how they do it!", and everyone else dropped .... except the Teacher-Grandma, who crouched on two legs, "glistening" with exertion.

That was the prize! Price? I was wiped out ..... till I got my diet coke!

The Busyness of Slowing Down

Still crisp mornings but no frost yet for a while. I harvested my herbs Saturday, and now have intense concentrated smells in different places in the house. Chives on the dining room table, oregano hanging from a pole downstairs -- and parsley still waiting to be cut. Basil holds its aroma till it is crushed. Ummmmm.

More TTD today than I can touch, let alone finish, so I want to be smart about what should be first, and so on. The best thing for me first, is to think about the list, think about others, and talk to the Big Guy about all I care about that I can and can't affect today.

You may be on my latter list. Those I can't touch but I care about. I think about people on that list as I make my applesauce, put away my fabrics, fold laundry, or even spread my mulch.

You are important because I've been where you are and know the stress of caring but being too stretched.

You are important and I care for you.

But the One I talk to cares much more, and knows how to help.

Hope you have a great day, a wondrous fall, knowing that those who aren't close by wish they could be, and wish they could help, and are always pulling for you.

May the God of Peace give you strength and joy as you carry your load, and the assurance of his constant presence and care.