Monday, July 20, 2009

Quotes of the Day

OK, so remember, I'm still with Joy, with a new baby and a 3 yr old and 4 1/2 yr old.

Joy wanted to encourage awake time today (in Libby), so I called the boys over to talk to her when her (blue!) eyes were open. A little later, Luke goes over to her, "Hi! I'm your big bludder!" He is so sweet to her, covering her with 6-8 burp cloths at a time. Joy had to uncover her so she wouldn't sweat. Luke didn't like that........ Tonight she found 8 of them laid gently on top of the baby swing. Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

So Joy took Ian and Libby on a walk this afternoon while Luke was still napping. Ian wanted to push the stroller, and after a while, Joy asked if he wanted her to take a turn. "No, I have to be a good big brother!" Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

When our kids were little, I thought that having children was the cake, and having siblings was the icing on the cake. So precious.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Cost of Joy


Larry and I left Wenatchee last Monday morning, arriving about 6 pm in Nampa, in time to go out to dinner with Joy and Jer. Joy started labor about 10:30 and delivered at 8:42 am Tuesday morning. Libby is gentle, hearty, and beautiful. We're all reveling in the miracle of her health and safe arrival.
My job and commitment was and is to help keep the Stockett home fires burning. Plans were already in place for Luke and Ian to go to the in-town grandparents for the night after her arrival. So L & I had Tuesday to help in-hospital, spread the word, sit w Joy. Wednesday we both played with the boys, and Larry flew home Wed night. I've watched and played with the boys since. Friday when mom was finally released and brought Libby home from hospital.

Thanks for all the love, prayers, and concern for Joy, for Libby, and for us. It was wonderful. I don't think I ever enjoyed a birth so much, and I'm sure it was because I knew on a close personal level that everything could have turned out differently. For several months Joy lived with the possibility that a shadow on Libby's ultrasound could be evidence of a birth defect. Only in the last few weeks has that fear been relieved. Even at birth the attending pediatrician studied another "irregularity", because of her "history" in ultrasounds, but she left the hospital on Friday with a clear report. All is good, thank God.

I've had a week of joy, first watching her emergence into the family, then playing at home with big brothers Ian and Luke. I'm exhausted, have had headaches, but also some of the best times I've had w grandkids for months. The boys are into male bonding, and grandma is loved, but not really first choice for the tough stuff. But we played hide-n-seek, went to the zoo, had ice cream cones, and prayed for Libby "to treat us nice" (uh, what?) One morning Ian grabbed my hand and led me to his bed to hide from Lukey, our heads under his covers -- my feet sticking out below. At the zoo we saw only monkeys -- maybe because all the other animals were hiding from the 103 heat coming later in the day. On the way we saw a motorcyclist, and Ian noted his helmet ON, and yelled "Good job, Mister!" At DQ we had ice cream cones! With their gentle licks, I knew we'd have some kind of drippy mess, but who cared! Lukey kept groaning w heavenly delight, ".... MMMMmmmmmm". Upon leaving, Lukey couldn't find his $3 sunglasses, mounted on his forehead, and we all had a good laugh at HIS "senior moment". That became their new joke line: "Grandma, where are my sunglasses?" Such comedians! Such good laughs! Such memories!


One morning we were romping, and Luke got nose to nose, and said, "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!" I took that to mean I was OK, female not-withstanding! Chuckles consumed me! and we romped on.
Ian's most precious statement was , "... look Mom! Jesus is making Libby's hair to grow!"


I've also had opportunity to have some good times w Lora. School is over! and she is winding down. Boxes are mounting in their living room as they pack in preparation for their end-of-the-month move to Portland. Today I helped a little, maybe a little more tomorrow.

And the price? Yep, I'm paying a price. So what! The kids and Larry are concerned I will be wiped out, but I didn't come for a vacation. I realize it will cost me something, but I'm the only one to really know the returns. The deep, deep joy of being valued by family, of being able to meet needs, exceeds any sacrifice. Life is about giving. "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace (the Prayer of St Francis of Assisi)....(because) it is in giving that we receive."

Another connection to my "Manna" book. I read in "Manna" about passing on the heritage of a die-hard faith; faith that is first conveyed through role modeling. And man! these little guys are picking up now on their role models! They are learning so much! Mom asked tonight, "... and who is the most powerful?" Ian has no problem remembering it is GOD!

I want to be a die-hard love-servant/role model, one who will give what I can when it is needed, as long as I can. At times I must watch, and at times I can step in, but I can always love, encourage, and pray. I will do that.

So for now, the cost of joy is something I can definitely afford! How grateful I am! So very grateful because I receive!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

An AMAZING Breakthrough!

We're starting to see where the end of the upstairs remodel will be, though we can't yet give it a date. Back bedroom ceilings are now scraped and getting primer, awaiting texturing, then paint, paint, paint. But that is good! I can do paint! Larry will do floor in one room while I paint the other.

Still ongoing has been the debate about whether to make the front room back into two ...... like other houses on the street ...... which (he thinks) might make it sell better ...... but I thought would make a return to teensy rooms....................

And then it came out. Why hadn't it come out sooner? Why did it take words that made no sense, that reflected what seemed to me a contradiction to behavior I've observed for 31 years? Why did he tell me that NOW he didn't want to let go of the desk which he's always told me was too big, he didn't want to work at, I could use because he preferred a roll top desk? Why did he now say, "Can't I do with my stuff what I want?"

I'd missed what I've so often told others to look for! The hidden meaning behind the words. The itch that he couldn't even identify.

That desk signified something (long ago) given to HIM. Something he shouldn't have to share. Located in a place where he could find identity, despite what "mess" might be in the rest of the house.

His office.

We've never had space for an office before. With three girls and my many projects, we've used every bit of space we've had. But the girls have been gone for years! Why did it come out now?

I think Larry pushed for those teensy rooms with subconscious hope that he might get space to put "his" things, his books, his laptop, his momentos -- not much, but whatever he wanted. Just his own personal space.

He's not sleeping well again, awake about 2:30 or 3 for the last two nights. I hate that. When I awoke at 4:40 this morning and found him up, I went out to ask what was keeping him awake. I told him that I'd be happy to put up a wall if he wanted the room for an office. No sirens, bells or whistles then, but he told me after lunch that he struggled to get back to sleep after that because of excitement over actually having his OWN ROOM! Not a room for sleeping, mind you. Probably not for using much except when he first gets up and has his quiet time in the morning.

I've fought putting in that wall for a year. In my mind no one would rather have small rooms when they can have a big one. HE would rather have a teensy corner -- to call his own.

Lord, help me remember, again, to listen to the unsaid.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The beat goes on.....

Busy week. We picked cherries last Saturday because they would be sprayed this week. I always pick more and plan to share, but often end up not finding someone who wants them till they are too far gone to give. So I pitted and dried, froze some, and have more in the frig to do tomorrow.....

Remodel is coming along so well. I am thrilled with how the bathrooms turned out. Lots of clean-up to do, and need to paint baseboards, doors, and touch-up. Larry is eager to get our bedroom ceiling scraped, then textured and painted so he can lay floor, and we can move back. Right now we have clothes in every room of the house, and never know which room holds what we want.

Can't wait to meet sweet little Libby! I have just a little more to do to finish covering her rocker cushions. Wonder if she will have blonde curls or straight locks, be a fighter or a lover....

I'm so thankful to be home, here, w/Larry. He went backpacking last weekend, and I missed him. I'm thankful for opportunities, each new day, great kids(incl sons!), grandkids, and friends. And I'm thankful for God, so thankful.

Happy Fourth of July! Thank God for America!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Kauai!

We’ve just returned from “the best vacation we’ve ever had!” as Larry puts it. Our trip to Kauai provided an amazing ten days away from normal routines, seeing another part of God’s creation we’d never experienced. The best part for Larry was savoring his coffee each morning with the ocean breezes. I reveled in the freedom to “not have to” do anything, to read from dawn to dusk, or eat without preparation messes.

Fortunately our bodies adjusted quickly to the different time zones and we rose and slept on regular schedules. Larry awakened about 6:30, and I laid in bed longer, thinking, praying, focusing with a game or two of Sudoku. Both of us had novels we’d start and stop, depending on what the other wanted.

Looking across the lanai, we were mesmerized by ocean waves, watching the roll and foam of surf, kite surfers, boogie boarders, or full-board surfers. It’s amazing to watch wave power, realizing such a small detail to the Creator is a life-or-death topic for men.

We peered into a magnificent and color riddled Waimea Canyon called “the Grand Canyon of the Pacific” that drops 4100 feet, witnessing vibrant oranges, greens, blacks and browns. We watched cliff-nesting birds glide on wind currents. These small birds were safe here, away from man and beast, yet vulnerable outside this breathtaking chasm, just as we are vulnerable in their habitat.

Larry’s lifetime dream has been snorkeling in the tropical reef, and he netted 5 days. He was ecstatic at the colorful array of fish. I have tremendous water anxiety, but we eventually found a protected pool and availed the low tides to share viewing chubs and convict tangos. Too many people in the pond eventually drove us out, but not before Larry could swim quietly alongside a sea turtle.

Kilueau lighthouse guards the northeastern coast, situated in another spectacular environment. While Larry ooh-ed and ah-ed at the five or six bird varieties soaring between cliffs, barrier island, and lighthouse, I stared into surf bouncing off ocean caves as birds laced the blues of water and sky.

And oh! The fruit! Coconut milk is so lightly sweet it’s not sickening, like I expected. The farmers’ market vender cracked it open with a machete! And the coconut inside peeled out into my spool like a creamy pudding….. mmmmmmmm! Papaya was a sweet treat I‘ve never sampled before – I’m not sure whether it’s available here or not. Amazingly, Hawaii imports lots of their fruit because it’s become too expensive to grow it commercially. Imagine that!

Leisurely dress and schedule make Kauai a paradise haven. What we wanted and needed was a place to retreat and survey our forces for handling life. Much as we loved it, we realized the permanent “Hawaii” setting isn’t where God wants us. We missed our relationships with their challenges. We missed routine despite its need for balance. I missed my kitchen and creative messes.

God’s presence followed us to Kauai, directing our desperations. Larry must now tackle important research, two vital manuscripts, and a professional meeting, all in July. I must face remodeling dust more places than I thought possible, issues I can’t see my way through, and everyday challenges. Ha! What a misconception that life gets easier when current problems pass.
We were each reading growth books. As we sipped and read each morning, we’d share insights relating to our real-life challenges, amazed how similar our conclusions and applications were. God was showing us gently, consistently, that the only answers come in deepening relationship, deepening our dependence. My book is pointing to cutting out the part of modern mentality that emphasizes personal control, all the while acknowledging that no way can I face my giants in my own strength. Where modern thinking suggests we just grip tighter, the Creator and creation teach the fluidity in holding loosely. Outcomes are scary to us only because they suggest surrendering control. Surrender simply means I trust someone bigger than myself.

Friday, June 12, 2009

It is -- but it's not

http://www.ourprayer.org/connect-with-God

Everything around me -- it is my responsibility to affect, to manage, to care, to empathize. But it's not my problem when I've done what I can and seemingly change hasn't come. It's God's problem. It's his world. I don't believe he snapped his magic wand and said, "it's great!" and then floated off, only to peek down and frown or smile once in a while. I do believe that he's in constant contact with anyone who wants to place a call -- and makes lots of unsolicited calls to aware and unaware humans to show his deep love and concern. I believe he injects himself daily into common occurences, from falling rain to the rise and fall of rulers. I believe he grows us, and sometimes flattens us. All because of love.

The word "discipline" has haunted me lots lately. (Comes with the idea of weight loss.....)

By origin, I think it means to do what it takes to be a disciple, not punishment that comes from the one modeling for the disciple.

Thus the link. I think this is the road to discipline. Inviting, rather than scary.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My Need

He lets me need so I can learn He is worthy to be trusted.