I'm the LUCKY ONE

I'm at my youngest daughter, Lora's house right now. She invited me! For a week! The other daughters have also invited me and I've had great times with them, but visits with them are shared. Shared with hubbys, grandkids, their dad, and simply, their jobs. Life is B-U-S-Y and harried. So unshared time with an adult child is a rare delicacy not to be taken lightly.

Lora's husband Andrew and his dad are having special time right now, so rather than leave Lora alone, they suggested inviting me so we could have time. What an idea! What a privilege! What an opportunity!

Yesterday we explored Portland (benefit of Tom-Tom) and visited Powell's Book Store, dubbed the largest bookstore in the world. Take your cell phone (for re-connecting) a friend or two, and plan to enjoy all morning or afternoon perusing the category, subject, or even author of choice! Yesterday I was in the Red Room, where I moved among a good dozen or more wall-high rows. Lora moved to the "room" of her choice, and then we reconnected in the Purple Room to look at children's books before we left. We would have stayed hours except that we had an evening appointment already scheduled.

We'd had lunch together, then supper leftovers at home. Tonight we'll try another of the cuisine varieties of the neighborhood. The prize isn't not having clean-up; it's the blessing of uninterrupted focused attentive conversation. Two people who care about each other having the gift of time to give one another.

I don't want to take this for granted. Lora will soon have the 9-5 commitments that make these days rare. Thereafter little "Loras" and little "Andrews" will interrupt dinner conversation. We'll plan visits, and the nights out will be us staying with kids so they can maintain sanity. I would never trade any of it.

I love the visits with any of my kids. Watching grandkids interact, watching my kids do the parenting, playing with grandkids and having them laugh at me or pull on my pants. Getting a five-minute call from Joy as she runs from her work-out time to kiddie pick-up, or a 10:15 call from Jenny when Jon works late and she's bored. I'm the Lucky One!

I'm "lucky" to have kids who want to talk to me, kids who will walk down the street with me, kids who will share needs and blessings, and ask me to pray for them.

I'm also lucky that their dad still comes home to me -- just me. That he makes me breakfast every morning unless I say I don't want it. That he will give up things HE wants to do on the house, to preserve my sanity.

It is more than luck, much more. It's blessing. It comes from the One who made us all, who gave us all free choice, speaking to these dear ones, leading their thoughts and choices. Yes, it started with faithful love and dedication twenty-plus years ago, but the choice to continue is fed by faith from the One.

Undoubtedly they've all had times I've disappointed them. I screw up even when I mean well! I can remember seeing some "let-down" looks when I've said or done the wrong thing. They've forgiven me. God forgives me!

All in all, I still think I'm pretty lucky, blessed, fortunate......

And I say thank you to all of them. Best winning of a lifetime!

My Mission

My new "best book" is by Leonard Sweet, "Out of the Mystery... Into the Question" speaking of relationships we have with one another, and with God, all stemming from how we are made and why we are made. VERY thought provoking read.

Today I swallowed a story that clenches my heart and describes my calling. It relates a story of Israeli Christians preparing for a seige during the 1983 Arab-Israel War in Beirut, Lebanon. The plan was for these Christians to buy up all the canned food they could find, in preparation for distribution during the seige. They were unsure how to distribute, whether 1) to give first to their members, to other Christians, and then to Muslim neighbors, or 2) to give first to Muslim neighbors, next to other Christians, and then to their members. Finally one quiet woman among them offered, "if we do not demonstrate the love of Christ in this place, who will?" They chose Option #2.

We all want to "do good", and yet we all "mess up". Another line I read in this book this morning cited the truth that Christians are not "special" people. They are messed up people who Christ makes special by his love going through them.

One of my favorite lines comes from a song I haven't heard for quite a while: ".... the saints are just the sinners who fell down and got up...." I need to get up, and look up, over and over and over.

Let's walk together, and we'll help each other up.

You Can ..... Smile

So we're back in our bedroom, enjoying sooooooo much our bed and our space, but there are still lots of details to complete. I decided to try and install another doorknob last Wednesday morning. Still not dressed for the day, I was just piddling around.

Some of these new doors won't latch, whether because the drilled door holes don't match up exactly with the holes in the hardware, or because I haven't installed them perfectly -- ? That really drives Larry crazy. Me? I figure it will close eventually. That's why Larry is the scientist and I'm am PR.

This Wednesday morning, I decided to install the latch mechanism in the doorknob hole first, and then see how easily the door would close and open. Forgot that I really needed the complete doorknob installed to open the door again.

I also forgot that I needed to be on the hall side of that door -- if I wanted to do other things till Larry got home and showed me how to open it again. SO I forgot to add the doorknobs. I forgot to stand OUTside of the room when I closed the door to test the smoothness of the latch.

I locked myself in the room. In my night clothes. With only a window for escape. No working phone. No ladder. No dark to hide me.

At first I thought I'd surely figure a way to get the latch open. Fooled with the screwdriver on the mechanism parts. Next I decided I needed to watch for someone passing the house, who might hear me call. Finally a neighbor walked out of her house, started to get into her car, and I yelled down to her, "up here, in the window, it's Linda Pusey, and I'm locked in a room."

We verified that I needed Larry (skipping all the whys), and she called 3 numbers before he answered. Yes, I had to wait while they both laughed at the reason I needed him home. Then, while I waited, all the humiliation hit me -- and I almost cried.

He drove into the driveway, called out and came into the house. He opened another doorknob package in another room, and together, we pieced together what we needed to open the door. Did he have a big grin on his face? DEFINITELY!

Larry had to run to a luncheon meeting, so no time to console me. When he arrived home in the evening, I'd been weeding in my back garden beds for about 3 hours. Great distraction. Forget the hardware for today. Again that big grin. "Did everyone at your meeting have a good laugh?" "No, I only told one person, and he told me his wife did something similar one time...."

OK, I guess many of us do "dumb" things time to time. This about tops my list. These things just seem to happen to me.

So for today, I'll try and again remember "it's not what happens to you that counts, but how you react to it."

CHEESE!

The "Sweetness" of "Labor" Days

A long time ago I read that "... waiting makes the blessing sweeter when it arrives." Sorry, but I've focused too many times on the "... when it arrives...." part, and missed the "sweeter" part. I need to remind myself because I know it's true!

I talked to each of our daughters last week, and heard amazing things in their voices. I heard insight, maturity, peace, and patience. The oldest just turned 29! WOW! A lot happens in 29 years! I'm seeing a lot of "sweetness" flow from my girls as I watch them deal with life: the "sweetness" of wisdom, grace, and patience.

We've slept in our "new" bedroom for 3 nights now. Oooooohhhhhh! How thankful we are for our bed, for space, for access to our clothes once again. We've yet to wipe the construction dust and dead spiders from our new bathrooms and use them -- but the view is inspiring! Wow! We're so very thankful for abilities, friends, and funding to rebuild.

I wonder if I'd have appreciated the gift of the remodel as much if it had come in a painfree month's time away from home. Would I have missed my queen bed as much had I not spent 3 months with Larry's bony elbows in my sides each night? Would I have longed for order as desperately had I not been prisoner to disorder? Thank goodness, the busy-ness of summer took us away from our mess more times than we thought we liked, but maybe that was my emotional anesthesia for the pain of the labor.

Still lots to do. Saturday was consumed with assembling a file cabinet. I am a "designer" but not a "manual follower", and I can't count how many times I realized I'd missed a step in the instructions as I jumped from picture to picture. The job took a looooonngg time for me to complete. I screwed in the bottom coasters 3 times: 1st to install, 2nd when I realized I had the back on the front, and 3rd when I realized I had the back of the cabinet facing the front -- and the drawers wouldn't close.

Sunday was a day of fun, after 3 weeks of painting walls, trim, and nailholes, and focusing, focusing, focusing on a labor driving me crazy! We looked for bookshelves all over town, went to a movie (half an hour early, and gorged ourselves with the popcorn refill!), then came home still enjoying respite from focusing on labor.

Today I must first do some basic laundry and cleaning, then I want to continue installing doorknobs and covering nail holes. I need to paint new doors, unpack and organize our endless "stuff". And sometime peek at life outside the remodel, to see how I reconnect survival at home with survival in the wild.

Larry will get back to a paper that must come together before the end of the month. I must remember to anticipate the sweetness of its completion! I must remember to anticipate the sweetness of many tomorrows.

Last night's "Extreme Home Makeover" focused on people with disabilities. The line that grabbed me was "... focusing on possibilities rather than problems." WOW! I need that!

Life seems full of waiting. While I'm waiting, I'm going to focus on the "sweetness".

Moving Back IN!

Tonight SHOULD be the night! Wish it were a daytime move, but a long evening is the best we can do. Cords to upload pics of our "new home" are still packed, so JUST WAIT!

Last night Larry was just too tired to move furniture despite the riveting anticipation. Our bedroom is ready, but he wasn't. He'd had a long day at work, and I'd had a short night before. It's amazing how tired we both are of the process.

The bedroom is ready, but Larry's office and my workroom yet need trim paint, outlet plates, doorknobs, new door hinges, new door paint and some touch ups before we can move in furniture. (Ooops! there's cleaning needed too!) I'm learning to do quite a few things for myself! Bill even showed me how to install the smoke detectors that have set in the box since we bought them 4 years ago!

But we're so grateful for our house, upgraded or not. We're grateful for space, and privacy, and climate control, and ownership. We're grateful for a dependable contractor who is also a trustworthy friend, who worked us into many of his busy days. We're grateful for years of pinching that paid off a mortgage early so we can now afford the remodel. And we're grateful for a grace-ful Creator who has picked me up each time I've been about to blow, and kept Larry from saying things he might have regretted when he didn't understand my frustration....... Remodel is tough, especially when you're living in it. But we still love each other!

Tonight we'll have a new floor, access to our dressers, and more of our clothes (of those I find on the first-day-back), and our very comfy queen bed -- THANK GOD! after 3 months of elbowing each other all night long. Whenever any of you visit us, we'll henceforth be extra thankful you are willing to be with us at the cost of suffering cramped night quarters. Oh, we're so spoiled!

I watched "Home Makeover Edition" on Sunday night, with the tv crew rebuilding and furnishing a home for a family of 13, 7 of whom were Haitian orphans adopted by a young Ohio couple. Sounded like our cramped life had been their norm, compounded by Mom's ongoing illness after 3 strokes and liver disfunction. I've never been more moved by the contribution of the crew, sponsors, and team players recruited for a project. Even the local university was enticed to bless all the children with full-ride scholarships.

I'm thankful once again for what I have! I'd still be OK with a smaller, less improved place, as long as I could keep it clean and neat, and maybe someday that will be my lot. Whatever! As Larry has said, this is just temporary.

So thank God for TODAY! For health and strength, for inspiration and friends, for hope and opportunity! Time to go bless someone else!

Gotta Remember!

I gotta remember it! I know it's always true! So know matter if I'm a long ways from hindsight.....

All things work out for the best if we trust God. Can't say they always work out for the best when we don't, cause I've known of some people whose hard times went from bad to worse. My attitude--remembering to trust, to grow, to not necessarily fix, and that I'm not responsible for the overall outcome--has a lot to do with my survival in the meantime. Why do I have so much trouble remembering these points on a daily basis?!

Partly being overwhelmed. Partly not reminding myself. Partly trying to figure things out.

Trying to figure out isn't necessary--maybe not even beneficial.

Keep my eye on the One who has put me here........

To just be faithful, kind, loving, dependable, learning, sharing, hoping, guiding, helping.....obeying.

So now I need to get back to work! And then rest well, and lay it all down at the end of a day, no matter how the day unfolded.

Blessings as you trust!

What's the Truth?

I have a new "best book". A friend loaned several to Larry and I, and of this latest, Larry kept telling me, "Linda, you're going to love this one..." and now I've finally got my teeth into it.

It's entitled, "Out of the Question, Into the Mystery", and I won't try to summarize, but rather let you wonder, and possibly look for the book for yourself. The author is Leonard Sweet, and he's offered some tantalizing (I'll skip the pun!) thoughts.

One thought that has stuck with me this week, is that there is no truth apart from relationship. A situation occurs: I think I understand exactly what transpired! I witnessed the TRUTH for myself! No excuses, no deception, I know what I saw! Then someone comes along and adds to the picture of what I witnessed, and suddenly the truth changes.

Example: I know a friend who has let go of the values he held for years. He was one of the most dependable people I knew. Why did he choose to go against not only his declared position, but also hurt the people closest to him? I know I can't answer that. I have ideas. I wonder if he came to the point where he wondered what really was truth, if the values he'd claimed where worth fighting for. I wonder if he'd ever really made them his own. I had a relationship with him in the past, and that makes me wonder about his current choices. I think he's a better man than his choices make him look.

I also think that relationship is the thing I can offer him now, grace and acceptance without flaying his personality or lifestyle, without questions or conditions. Man, all persons have freedom of choice, first under God, and then as American citizens -- as long as we don't infringe on the liberties of others. The vulnerability of relationship allows for hurt and disappointment, but the truth is only his to know or share.

I know many examples where someone has done something I don't understand. My first reaction is often irritation, but I catch myself and wonder. What is the truth behind the "obvious"?

I don't understand why God allows much of what happens in the world. I wonder if the "free will" idea and covers some or all of it. Many good things have come as a result of bad things. Wonderful opportunities have grown from terrible disappointments and disillusionment. (Larry and my meeting is a perfect example of that!) But why does the mechanic who works just as hard as Larry lose his job, and Larry still has work? Why does a friend's marriage seem unfixable, but my husband listen to my pleas, and we keep improving the blend?

The more I seek to "get into" God, the more I trust Him. I know He came up with all the original ideas of life, from the laws of nature and the mysteries of the human body to the complicated facets of interpersonal relationships. Still He somehow intertwined all these facets of Divine Intelligence with a gentleness, a firm order, a justice that always makes sense in hindsight. Man, hindsight is bitter before experiencing, sweet in the aftermath. God is good. Like it or not, He is. He's pleasant, refreshing, safe, sweet, sensible, and oh, so good.

I think I want truth, but I'm realizing how unready I am for it. I have to grow before I'm ready to accept it. It's so much bigger than my own personal grace is.

The truth is, I'm learning about truth, and daily getting to know the Source of Truth, Who is Truth Himself.

Ok, let's finish today, and get ready for tomorrow.