Gifts of the Season

It's still 15 days before Christmas, but they are passing fast. I need to take Jenny's gifts to the PO to mail. Then we'll be with Joy's bunch over Christmas itself, and Lora and Andrew will be in town when we return. It will be busy, and fun. A good time to enjoy family.

But hopefully a time to be reaching out to others, as well. I've been reminded many times this season of the need for reaching beyond myself. One son-in-law has been blogging about giving to others. My delivery man yesterday is facing layoff next week. Our weather has been SUPER cold, and there are many homeless in our valley.



One thing that has taken me outside my neat and tidy plans was a request for sugar cut-out cookies for a party this year. I don't know when I've made the cut-outs! I use the recipe year long, but usually just roll them in granular sugar, or maybe ice the circle. But strictly round cookies! Fast and easy! So when my friend asked me to make cut-out cookies, I said yes. I HAD asked what she'd like me to do to help. So cut-outs it was!

I had baked most of the week, thinking I needed to bake for another occasion as well. Cookies everywhere. When I showered I could smell it. Even smelled it on Larry when I kissed him good by in the morning. The house smelled of cookies. It was good.

But the cut-outs had to be iced, and the week had been busy, making the icing the last project to get done. When I got home Friday, I had to get started, and was icing when Larry got home from work. He looks forward to a night in front of the TV ("Monk" finale!) and a total veg-out. So he kept teasing and hinting about downstairs TV, but these had to all be done by noon Saturday.

Finally, he offered, "they would get done faster if I helped...." to which I replied, "yep, they would!" We iced together till about 9 pm, then again 8 to 11 on Saturday. The most fun I've had for weeks! Doing something together! We talked, teased, listened, shared. Nothing too serious to detract attention from the issue at hand. No football games in the background. No lab experiment to think about. Just icing on the hands. How do I put on the sprinkles? What do you think of this color? How shall we decorate the angels? We had a great time together.

I even CHOSE cut-outs when I needed a dessert for the next Christmas party, and he readily helped me when he walked in the door from work, taking the left-overs to a work Christmas dinner today. I didn't get any more original with decorating than we'd already done, but good responses and good taste, made it an easy repeat.

Happy times, Everyone! If Christmas is about giving, it should include more than what we can buy, or even what we can make. It should include giving our time. And if giving is better than receiving -- which we all know is true -- it's more about listening than telling. We have wonderful parents always eager to hear how all the kids are doing. They keep up by whatever means possible. A brother-in-law will grab his phone and call one of my daughters at the most unexpected times. He teases, but he listens.

Love. A gift received, that keeps on giving.

Enough for All Times

Some special friends are going through really tough times. No amount of time, money, or condolences will solve their dilemas. Friendship is important at these times, to hold one another up when we feel like more than wilting -- sometimes we wish for an emotional coma -- but friendship is all I can offer.

What I CAN do for my friends is to call upon The Giver. His help is not always considered helpful because it is mysterious, not immediately apparent tho immediately caring. He has ways of affecting time, people, moods, even perspectives. He can shed light or remain hidden. He can stop the world, and has even moved time backwards. He can open windows into other worlds, and sometimes show us we are happiest where we are.

His mystery is what makes Him bigger than me. Isn't mystery what brings droves to theater premieres? Isn't mystery what draws the lost and lonely into one last haunting quest? Mystery suggests a Force or Power greater than myself that won't be duped, depressed, or daunted as I am. That it will be my personal intro into a strength I need when life gets to be too much. We all long for that Something that is bigger, that will be enough.

We need this Force that will be "enough" for not just today's worst nightmare, but also available for the next unbelievable uncertainty.

My Giver is always available, personal, trustworthy, and comforting. He often says "wait", but that doesn't mean he's busy elsewhere, I've learned he knows holding on is sometimes best for me.

I've learned My Giver is real from a lifetime of personal connection. You don't want to hear all the personal stories, but in each one, he brought me through.

He is mysterious, but he is no secret.

He is The Giver, but also The Gift.

The Gift of Christmas.

Jesus the Christ.

Thanksgiving!

Aaahhhh.... no more worry about the house for a while.

Four angels sent from God came over to encourage, laugh with and renew me, and help me tie up the strings for company. Thank God -- so much! -- for such caring friends!!


Then arrived the grandkids, bringing Mom and Dad, exhausted from the 8 hrs in the car, driving over ice and snow, wind and rain. The first comment was, "Papa, you need to scoot your house closer to mine...."

We played playdough and puzzles,

rolled in leaves

climbed Papa's "tree house".

Went to McD's and bookstores


played legos



and studied bugs (courtesy of Papa -- of course!)

Even had birthday cake with Grandma! And all the while, read lots of books,



watched Thomas the Train dvds over and over. And had a wonderful, super-delicious, scrumptious, very good time!

Libby is fun for all of us! Dad brings out the biggest smiles in her

but Mom (esp mom!) and brothers bring a light to her eyes and she begins to talk, and talk, and talk. Such joy and thanksgiving for the wonder of a child.

So now time to clean up and get ready to go see Lora and Andrew. Missing Jenny and Jon, Emily and Paul, but hope they have a wonderful Thanksgiving too. Each time with one set of grandkids makes me wish for the long distance ones too.

So Blessings to all! and to all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Just Enough

I need something, and I need it now! I need to be able to focus on the mundane tasks of sorting, cleaning, moving, tossing, trucking -- finishing the job of setting up the house. Larry finished the steps -- they are beautiful! We've resolved to bring my sewing materials downstairs so we both can have uncluttered offices upstairs. But COMPANY IS COMING in 8 days, and they need someplace to lay their heads! I need patience, tenacity, and peace to keep at the job. There is a lot to do, and I am all alone, with too much quiet, too little mental stimulation, and yet the need to think, stay focused -- on the mundane.


Mundane is a very difficult word in my vocabulary. It's beyond my comfort zone. It's almost profane. I was made to zip from thought to thought, job to job, person to person. I think up ideas for relating to one person and another. My downfall can easily be creating more projects than I can feasibly accomplish, but half my joy is in planning. Trudging is not my idea of a joyful life.


Yet trudging through interruptions is a big part of life. That's the relationship with children, especially for a mom. Mom wants to run to the store, but kids don't want to stop play. Mom starts laundry, but kids need her to stop the overflowing toilet. She is fixing dinner or talking on the phone, but that is when fights start, things get broken, or a stranger comes to the door. Life is about trudging through interruptions.

I do better with interruptions than I do getting back to my mundane. Fact remains, mundane must be conquered. I have needed help.

So I've called on a friend who knows just what I need, just as I need it and ask for it! I've asked for manna, from someone who understands me better than I understand myself. Like walking a tightrope over a chasm, I feel precipitously anxious about getting through this, but God is carrying me. More than helping, I feel like he is making it happen.

Yesterday another friend dropped by for assistance with her sewing machine, and a brief chat, after which I made one trip to Goodwill, returned something to a store, and sorted for today's drop-offs. She took another of my donation loads, and this morning I will deliver the other. I need to make a couple more store stops, then come back and begin today's strategy.

It's happening. God is leading me across my tightrope. He waited for me to be desperate enough to trust him. Two days now he's come through , and I really don't feel he's going to chuck me into the chasm. Still would rather not be over the chasm but I've got to get to the other side.

Heard a good line in a song Sunday that stuck. Sorry I don't know who to credit, but the lyrics reminded we must "see the cloud to find the silver lining".

My God is giving me just enough this week. Enough to get me through. Enough to see one more time that he has the resources (of course) but also empathy, and sympathy, for me, to give me what I really need, when I ask, trust, and let him.

Another day. Another prayer. Trust and trudge!

Victory!

What a World!

This week has been ...... well, it's been there.

I ran my cell phone through the washing machine on Monday. When I found it, I took out the battery hoping a drying out might save me, even put phone and battery in rice. No luck. The one I saved for insurance? The last phone I had? I apparently turned in its power charger, mistaking which one would work with that phone.

Last night with Larry at home WITH ME I accomplished more in moving the house around than I have in a month! This mess PARALYZES me. (I used to stay away from my dorm during exam time in college -- because there was no time to clean and organize.) I can't find things, and can't remember if I put them somewhere the first time, second, or third time I moved them!

And this morning I got up to finish some financial tracking I'd worked 3-4 hours on yesterday. Again with all this hectic mess of '09, I've had a hard time keeping track of bills OR paying them. Recently a local cop stopped me and pointed out that my car tags were overdue, and he'd called in to find out if they were paid and just not on. NOPE! I was supposed to renew in Nov 08. It was mid-Oct 09. Such a merciful man! He must have a mid-fifties mom like me! He let me off withOUT the $250 fine.

Oh, the excel sheet from yesterday? I'd worked and organized and entered data, and apparently didn't save it on my laptop, and this morning I couldn't find it anywhere. It's possible I did save it -- feel like I remember saving it repeatedly -- but who knows where! I spent a couple hours and have it up again.

So, is it really "only the world"? I know it is.

I still feel like crying. Because I kept waking all night long. I'm tired today.

But I have too many good things to be thankful for give in to the crying. I'll be OK.

It's all just temporary.

Darkest right before the dawn.

Takes both sunshine and rain to make a rose.

A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to the job.

I'm hanging on!

It's ONLY the World!

I'm so excited with the message of this song by Mandissa! I listened to the words on the radio as I was crossing the Blue Mountains Friday afternoon. Don't get me wrong, but I've never really been excited about Heaven before. I believe that God wants to give us the glory of his Presence, and the blessing of his strength and power while we are still here on earth. So why are we aching to escape our miseries when the eternal existence of people we care about is at stake?! There are soooooo many people who don't have a clue as to the HOPE and JOY and PEACE we can know with a relationship in Jesus. No preaching intended -- this is where my passion is. I haven't wanted to leave earth till these can understand the safety in Christ.

But this song has really pushed my buttons! Yep, it's been long and hard lately, and Yep, I still want to keep at it for the sake of these people I love. One has just found me on facebook and been writing back and forth every day this past few days. I want to be an encouragement to everyone, but some days I just feel like crawling under a rock and shriveling up.

There are two ends to this emotional tug-of-war. Man, Life has been hard -- but IT'S ONLY THE WORLD! It's temporary. Something much better is just around the corner. The song says, "ain't no way I'm giving in" -- that uplifts and encourages me to keep on!
Hope it likewise encourages you to remember -- IT'S ONLY THE WORLD!

http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/m/mandisa26648/onlytheworld1287582.html

(PS. This "http" line is called a "link". Click on it and it will take you to another web page where you can click on a "u-tube" video and hear the song sung, also see the words.)

Home Again

Just returned from a visit with the grandkids, trying to help Mom and Dad out with the rigors of everyday/ 24-7 parenting. It's a hard life! They are doing all the right things, and it's still hard. Sad to say, I think it's supposed to be. I think these hard times -- times when there is never enough help -- show us we are right where God can show us HE will take care of the really important stuff.

I referred many times lately to a book I found last spring called "Manna", meaning the food God gave his wandering Israelite children as they trekked from Egypt to Canaa, from uncertain misery to uncertain hope. I need to read the book again. It stablized me through some hard times. I'm hearing family now finding encouragement in reading it.

Sadly, I need to walk away from the grandkids and entrust them to the care of those good parents, but even more, that loving Creator who not only can, but wants to do more than I can. I need to let Him provide that "manna". Though I wish to be there, I realize the separation is good for both them and for me. Thank you God, for the "grandma fixes" but thank you for showing me what wonderful things you are doing in them.

PS. We tried for grandkid pics with me on the last morning. Joy took 5 or 6, trying for one when everyone was smiling, looking, not drooling (or spitting), not rolling to one side or the other. I wanted to show the progression of how "it takes a series" to get a picture. BUT...... I forgot my camera, at her house. Other things recently forgotten? My car tags .... 10 months after renewal date. Yes, 2 months BEFORE the NEXT renewal date.

Home again. Back to the drawing boards, looking for today's manna.

PPS. Here's one shot.