I Love Books!

I just finished The Deepest Waters, a novel by Dan Walsh, inspired by the sinking of the SS Central America in 1857, off the coast of South Carolina, and carrying 15 tons of gold. As I read Walsh's novel, I was gripped with the same comparisons that Laura, a survivor,  frequently made. My worst days are better than the best days many people of the world have known. Sobering, and motivating to remember to choose a grateful heart. Walsh did an amazing job describing thoughts and feelings a survivor must have experienced, and more specifically, one so recently married who thought she was simultaneously widowed. He captured the kindness, as well as the greed, that often surfaces among those experiencing tragedy together. Great job, Walsh!

Making the Most

I have only seven minutes. Today is busy with a morning listening to second graders read, and then running to Dad Pusey's for afternoon. Two years ago I might have had plans for one activity all day, and filled in with solitaire, sudoku, and LOTS of reading.

But life has changed drastically. We are in Idaho, Larry is retired, and the demands of that life seem very far away.

Today I want to make the most of every moment. Every moment is an opportunity. A moment to make a child smile, to compliment a weary teacher, to tease my lover and best friend, to pray for the ones I love who are walking through hard times. And savor! I want to savor their responses! Remember what they share in response. Listen with ears and with heart. Listen with attentiveness to THEM, not thinking about what I want out of them next.

Most of all, I want to be thankful. That I have today. Health. Freedom. Companionship.

I'm glad to have survived my storms and lived to anticipate another spring.

God was, and IS good.

Whew!

It's been quite a while since I've written down thoughts -- they've been all over the board. We experienced seven months on the housing market from start to finish with two buyers and two different stories. The family who bought the WA house turned out to be friends and work associates, so we were thrilled to pass along our place of memories to others we know will establish many of their own.  And we saw how the timing was just perfect, for them and for us.

On August 13 we closed on our WA house and signed for a new ID house, all in the same day.  Later that week we moved our belongings by truck(s) into the new house, returned in three days so Larry could get back to work, and are now living in friends' garage apartment as we await the three more weeks till his retirement is official.  No storage time was necessary in a third location, no extra moves.

It's been crazy, fortunate, unbelievable, and grueling.  Some weeks I prayed just to make it through one day at a time. During the Idaho bidding war I completely backed out of hope and let Larry handle negotiations. Even with a contract I couldn't believe in case another bombshell burst my dream.

Now, with only sixteen more workdays, Larry is excited yet still very focused. He wants to be free, but wants to finish well.  Today I feel calm.  I think I have learned a little.

"In everything give thanks...."  Maybe those tears are blessings.............

The Right Time

Early morning reflections on a new book are making sense of my past two or three years. A book I could not have digested then makes sense now. I received it at the right time.

Eugene Peterson, author of the famed "Message" version of the Holy Bible, has written "Leap Over A Wall" about Old Testament David, the infamous shepherd and giant killer, adulterer and murderer, King of the Jews and friend of God. Peterson describes the wilderness to which David ran and for possibly ten years inhabited while Saul was stalking him.

This wilderness is barren and cold, with only scarce comfort or provision. David made it his home, when nothing else was available. He LIVED with it. How many times have I said, "God why do I have to LIVE WITH THIS?!" to which God has replied, "but are you REALLY living with it?"

Past posts will show that I felt I endured a long "wilderness" through much of 2008-10. I could not understand people and events happening around me, and I felt no comfort, and barely any provision. That scarcity forced me to depend on the little I had, the promise of a better day. And it came, at the right time.

Peterson demonstrates that wilderness is something to embrace, that loneliness can take one deeper into himself than a hectic life will allow, into the quiet of scarcity. Just as God spoke in the still, small voice to Moses, he speaks to me. Still I can only hear it when I turn everything OFF.

My most recent wilderness has been the lonely solitude of an empty house. I have accepted fewer teaching positions in 2011 because, with the difficult economy, I felt others supporting families or beginning careers needed jobs much more than I. The solitude has been difficult, to say the least, even maddening, and yet it seemed right, first to get me caught up on the less desirable tasks of home, and then for my own renewal and strengthening. One morning God awakened me with the quote from Isaiah, "in quietness and confidence shall be your strength." (Isaiah 30:15) I wondered if possibly I needed to embrace this rather than fight it.

It is still a wilderness to me, scant and cold, but not barren. It's pregnant, with hope, opportunity, and means. I now can listen, care, and pray for people and causes which before only touched my heart. I can take opportunity to touch them, and I have utilized ways, or means, of aiding people, whereas this tug was formerly assuaged with an end-of-the-year contribution or "gift". Peterson notes that, in an age where so much is written about self-fulfillment, society is most self-absorbed, or selfish.

The wilderness of my past was painful, but it could have been pregnant. Others had passed through before me, and knew there was hope. The hope lay within the wilderness, but I thought it lay without. I wasn't ready to listen to anyone's voice.

So now, at the right time, I see . . . better . . . the opportunity that lies around me. Help, and then hope, comes at the right time.

The Thanksgiving Learning Curve

We just came from a few days with the older generation (Larry's parents), then a few with the younger (our TN kids) ... and their offspring as well. We came home more thankful, and aware that age is daunting. A guy on the plane shared "aging isn't for sissies...."

At Larry's folks, we spent two mornings listening to reflections on people and places of yesterday. Then, in Tennessee during Black Friday shopping, Larry was the doting Papa with squealing GKs on a hill slide in the leaves, a PB&J picnic under the trees, and a tight squeeze into the play tent. I enjoyed time shopping with Jenny, but also discussing things young moms can seldom debate, like opinions, reasons, anything requiring thought and not listening for "too much quiet" in the other room.

As I enjoyed someone else's cooking and celebrated restaurants Wenatchee does not have, I realized how I take for granted our food. We toss rotted fruit and veggies with no remorse. So

much of the world eats whatever it can, from C-rations, to years-old canned stuff, to a little watery soup or rice.

And as we missed our own beds at home, our multiple outlets, our preferred breakfast foods, NO PETS! we remembered that many grandmas and papas with whom we rub elbows each week share sleeping spots with other family members needing comfort and warmth.

These exhausting trips mean days of loving family by more than just phone. We witnessed (great-grand) parent pride as they played a dvd of one sibling bragging on another. Our kids wisely deal with parenting issues we're glad we no longer have as their 4- and 6-yr-olds love each other with squeals and fights. The visual experience is so rewarding!

Nerve-wracking discipline, exhausting road trips, and creative budgeting seem overwhelming, but really-- It is a wonderful life! Through it we teach and create Love, for family and others, for Our Maker, the First Giver of all life.

So don't ever wonder if it's worth it. Just wait and see!

Hug a Mom!

IT’s been an interesting day. Four young mothers passionately shared with me the pressures they face as they prioritize family.

All these young mothers are “working”, some for dollars, some for kisses; all full-time moms and part-time contributors to other organizations. All have education beyond high school but are more concerned with how their kids adjust to daily life than how their professional careers progress. They have chosen to way-lay frills and treats that other colleagues take for granted, like daily coffees, weekly dinners out, or occasional shopping sprees. Some coupon to save on groceries. Some trade babysitting to have a few moments alone. Each longs for a few hours with their special men each week, and appreciate beyond words the helping hands from grandparents.

But no words tell the fervor with which they described to me their busy schedules, their dilemmas with one child’s development as compared to another sibling, their longings to be the perfect moms to their little people. They have the hardest jobs on the planet.

THANK GOD FOR MOMS! For the nurturers who want to push us towards the edge of the nest, but swoop close if we look about to crash. Thank God for the mornings they awake remembering one more thing we’d asked of them, or a glint in the eye that only they understood, and praying God will give us strength and wisdom today for the challenges that scare us.

Long ago we were each the little person who longed for and needed this kind of mom. Some of us had moms busy with other siblings who never saw our pleas for one-on-one time. Others may not have even had mom home when we went to bed … for many different reasons. Still others had this kind of mom … and didn’t realize it.

Our little people may not realize it either. But moms today need encouragement as much as our moms did. Whether a work-for-pay or stay-at-home mom, all of them get tired of the 24-7 hours their jobs demand. Very little time off, very little performance approval, very little training, and – sick time? NOT in the book!

Hug a mom today! She’s doing it for them, but she’s also doing it for you! Her little guys will be in charge when we’re hobbling around. I say we cheer these moms who say, “Be kind to the little guy, the old folks, the kids who feel alone or misunderstood.” We’ll fit one or more of these descriptions all too soon.

YEAH, MOMS! YOU’RE GREAT! WE LOVE YOU! WE’RE PROUD OF YOU!

Let’s tell them so … often!

YOU and ME -- tomorrow!

This morning I had a long talk with a friend who knows her spouse's days are numbered -- a place where none of us "soon-to-be" seniors want to go.

They have been married 51 years, as of yesterday. They've weathered a decade of cancer scares, changes in culture, the economy, and family. They've seen the "better or worse" of life. They are the YOU and ME of tomorrow!

I lost my mother a few years ago, and for most of that time I've struggled with anger that she neglected her health in those last few years. I'm beginning to view life through her eyes, trying to imagine her fears before the inevitable came to light.

At lunch, two "soon-to-be" seniors escorted their mother to the restroom, then came back to check. Was she aware, embarrassed, grateful?

As I left church three "seasoned" senior ladies left together. I'm glad they have each other! How does solitude feel at this stage? How invaluable are the comfort and care of friends!

This morning my friend echoed her confidence that TODAY is the most important gift anyone has! Today includes freedom, love, and safety. It offers life, hope, and happiness. Tomorrow may or may not include those gifts -- all we have is TODAY!

GOD, help me count the blessings all around me, the big and little, the fleeting and steadfast! Help me skip right over temptations for "stuff" or "ease" and go right to things these seniors know to cherish. May I revel in time with beloveds, whether email, photos, memories, or a prayer! May I be thankful they are alive and free, and not fret that I do not see them often enough. May I be thankful that YOU are, and that you care!