Another thanks

Today I'm SO thankful for God. That someone is always listening (sorry, Larry), always understands (sorry again) and cares for me way more than the little birds that fly across my path and leave their marks on my clean car. Can you imagine that the Creator and Intellect of the Universe actually cares for those little creatures? That he cares enough to provide instinct for their homebuilding, feeding, and protection of their own families! Oh, how much more he cares for me.

He cares for my headaches.

He cares for my concern about my appearance (degenerating as the 50s can do!).

He cares for my sleep issues (and provides friends that care too!).

He cares about my mistakes, when I wish I had waited for a traffic light, or not pulled out in front of another driver.

He told me to learn from him. To forgive others, to imagine how they might feel, that they might likewise regret mistakes they've made.

We're all stumbling along together. Even the wisest among us. Even the one we think never makes mistakes. Even the one we think thinks he/she never makes mistakes.

Sometimes it takes me longer (than other times) to see my own mistakes.

God, help me be gentle with everyone. Sometimes firm, but always gentle, loving, grace-giving....like you do for me. Thank you -- SO MUCH -- for being gentle with me!!!

Thank God!

Thank God for friends who do little things for us. Man, if they only knew how big a thing it can be!

Wanna pay it forward one day!!

My Cost

http://www.myutmost.org/04/0423.html

I just read Oswald Chamber's message for today, 4/23. It rather hit home.

I have a job, a calling, a commitment. It is challenging, some days worse than others, and I've often wondered how much I can take, even how much I want to take.

Chambers' perspective takes me back to not only my focus on God, but my privilege as his child: I don't have to be responsible for the outcome! When it hurts and I remember he is hurting even more, I need to remember it isn't my work. Uh, DAH! I don't understand the big comprehensive plan. I see things as looking good or bad today. He sees today and tomorrow and yesterday affecting each other, and having a more detailed outcome than I imagined. I get so hung up on only what I can see and understand. I care, and it hurts!

But when I see a price tag, I guess I'm not really reading it right.

Spring Blessings!

Spring is Larry's busy season. For one to two weeks after blossoms begin to open, he may work 8 to 16 hr days, without a day off. Our first year in the Northwest, this went on for about six weeks.

Larry has a small but excellent group of helpers -- or tech support. The lead lab tech has been with him throughout his NW tenure. She deserves much of the credit for his success, and he is mindful to include her name on papers, even though she isn't a scientist. Often she thinks through the experiment -- what might have gone wrong, what might we do better, where might we next go -- and is the director of most lab work. She is invaluable.

Returning this year is a lady who worked with their group for about 12 years, but was released due to insufficient funds to pay her. Twelve years working on these projects makes a tech very knowledgeable, skilled, and fast. All three are essential elements. Fast can make the difference between 8 hour and 12 hour days.

Larry focuses and gears up for this period with determination and ambition to get through. He now reduces the expectations as he realizes all of them have much less energy to forge ahead than even 5 years ago. Life isn't what we expected when we started -- we're getting old, AND tired. Larry focuses not just on the work, but on his workers. He is depending on God to lead and carry them all.

I am helping on whatever scale I can. I usually take them goodies when they work weekends, and work with them in the orchards, counting blossoms, innoculating with the fire blight bacterium, or selecting infected blossoms for study in the lab. What I like about spring with Larry's workers isn't the work -- God DIDN'T make me science-minded -- but rather the fun of being with the people. I always want to lighten their stress, remind them all that mistakes work out, and hopefully deter headaches with prayer and laughter.

I'm thankful for this team, first, because I want to assist my husband, but also because I've come to know and care for the families represented here. I admire the commitment they have to their families as well as to Larry's work. Part of my support is to pray for strength for them on the daily basis, and I pray that God will let them know their endurance comes from Him, and not from their determination OR health plans.

This team is the foundation for Larry's success, in the past as well as the coming years, if not for the rest of his career. Their work leads to discoveries that lead to papers that lead to meetings that lead to collaboration that lead to new work, new discoveries, new papers. A discovery many years ago lead to a product now produced and sold by a leading Northwest agricultural company. That not only affects the farmers and quality of fruit we can buy; it gives Larry new inroads to collaboration with scientists throughout the country and even the world, comparing, sharing, brainstorming, researching together -- even friendships and touching lives. The little details are an integral part of who he is and what he has done.

And all this affects me. How? Because Larry's success is dependent what he thinks other people think, and even more, on what I think. Evaluations and awards and promotions go a long ways, but they are nothing without a team with whom to share the winnings.

I am not the only wind beneath his wings, but I am thankful for all the currents that keep him in the air.

More Blessings!

A warm cumfy bed.

Friends who love me.

Children who hug me.

Children who tease me.

Children who ask me, "... uh, what's your name?"

In the Morning!

Lots more life has happened since March 9 -- last post. I've accepted a position at church for which I feel almost completely unqualified -- apart from the memory that God once fed 5000 people with a few loaves and fishes. I feel like a flopping fish right now -- or a wet noodle -- or something lame like that. :) Example? Last weekend I kept our daughter waiting for 2 hours because I was trying to start her car with the wrong key.

I also have a month packed with travel and intensity. I feel caught between what I'd like to be -- strong and wise and sufficient and admirable -- and what I really am -- needy and weak and tired and often wimpy.

My latest reads are re-reads from the time of David and Solomon. Somehow God seems to reach me best through biblical historical fiction. I re-read one book about Solomon and the Shunamite girl he loved when he wrote the Song of Solomon, and today completed a book about Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. Each book piques my interest as to what scripture records. The authors always list all other historical references they've used in composing the narratives.

As I was thumbing for add'l details about Solomon, I crossed the end of I Kings, where David as KING is asking a peasant if he can buy his threshing floor. The villager replies that the King can have it for nothing. But David realized (an "easy" or free gift) wouldn't fit the soul of what he wanted to offer God, a submissive and sacrificial heart that was willing to accept God's leading, understood or not understood, whether it was lessons or chastisement. He said, "I cannot offer (to God) that which costs me nothing."

That needs to be my attitude. I have been wanting to offer service on my terms: "ok, God, I'll work hard, accept disappointment, exhaustion, etc, up to a point. Beyond that, how can you! Don't you realize I'm wiped out?" I've forgotten that He wants to be my God Provider, I think it's the Jehovah Jireh. What God will provide is beyond my vision, even beyond my imagination. Thus I, like David, cannot offer to God my submission when it is only what I think I can do. I must be willing to make a costly sacrifice, not only because He deserves it, but also so that He can broaden my vision of who HE IS!

A son-in-law's musings on his races and training keep me examining my soul. Today he says the praise of Sunday came from a heart acknowledging his human weakness. That is a blessing.

I watched an amazing young teacher direct and redirect 22 students last week, and saw her doing what she was created to be. That is a blessing.

I watched another young couple bless one another in their individual stressed lives. They are accepting and affirming one another -- understanding or not. That is a blessing.

I watched a stranger direct communication in a meeting yesterday -- where I'd questioned the possibility of communication. This stranger is fast becoming a good friend. That is a blessing.

My husband did three errands we meant to do together last night -- while I was on an important call. He had only agreed to do errands with me, but was now offering to complete them alone -- out of love. What a blessing!

Lots of stones on the road that can get in my shoes. The little pebbles will help keep down the dust, if I remember to be thankful for them.

One of the Psalms says, "...weeping only lasts for a night... but joy comes in the morning...."

There WILL be a morning.