We had dinner with a good friend and her husband tonight. She turned 60 today! You probably wouldn't know it from the way she lives; she works way too many hours, has overcome 2 major illnesses, is a grandma and a volunteer. She is good and she likes what she does -- but I don't think she knows how to slow down, just yet . . . like most of the rest of us.
Lately I've been mulling this "aging" thing, trying to figure out how to "go with the flow", how to accept the limitations that infringe and interfere with my life! I love the classroom, but find that 3 days a week is my limit! Some nights I sleep like a log; others I lay awake half the night! You don't want to know all my complaints! I get tired of hearing them myself -- but they are still present, slowing me down.
Survival has necessitated this reduced pace. Age isn't my only burden, but when other pressures dissipate, I hope to regain my momentum. Man, I don't look like my mother or grandmother looked, so why should I live like they did? Still the aches are there.....
Us boomers are struggling to age gracefully. We have creams and diets, programs and pills that we're constantly told will keep us young. We look better and enjoy more than people our age seemed to enjoy 30 and 40 years ago. Our generation has long declared we will live forever. We're struggling to defy age, but it's a losing battle; Ponce deLeon never did find that fountain of youth.
Loneliness is one of our nagging fears. Parents tell us fewer and fewer of their peers are alive. We watch our parents sit alone while we run with grand- and great-grandkids. We don't want to be alone like they are.
Pain is another fear. Pain means I should acknowledge limitations -- but not until I absolutely must! Modern medicine has pills for everything, but pills have side effects, and discomfort on yet another level. Is there no escape!
One day during in my loneliness I suddenly remembered a verse from the Bible: "In quietness and confidence [will be] your strength" from the OT book of Isaiah. I'm no Isaiah scholar, but I do have frequent flashbacks from many years listening to my dad preach. I began thinking of the soundness in that verse. Our culture spends way too little time in quietness, and most of us long for the renewal from time to ponder, reason, and just rest. Oooooo -- strength?
I began to wonder if there is something I can gain from all this "opportunity". Some "strength"! What if I learn to COPE, and become a role model for my friends, my kids, for anyone who will have to face what none of us want? I've also found free time to help people I care about, that a full-time job would not have permitted. I can spend more time reading, chatting, thinking, etc. and build new strength to cope with my losses and disappointment, finding new rhythm.
Few people are said to "age gracefully" these days. Wherever you find yourself, whether almost 30, 60, or 90, you have something to give and someone else wants to receive!
Live on!
