Enough for How Long?

I'm reading an interesting book right now that is forcing me to examine just who and what I count on to get me through the good and bad times. I know I can only count on people to a point -- we all have our bad times, and our week sides. I realize God is the only totally dependable Friend.

But what about the days when I REALLY feel I need a shoulder to cry on, and either no one understands, my "whoever" friend MISunderstands, or just plain no one is available. I'm learning to wait, really wait, and believe that God is still there.

I hit a poor bird while driving home last week. The Bible says God is aware of each bird. This one's mate ran frantically around him in the road. The bird was distraught -- however distraught birds can be!

So if God cries with this poor quail that just watched me kill her mate, I KNOW He has plans for me -- exhausted, confused, fumbling, ignorant, lonely -- or however overwhelmed.

My book talks about how God provided food for the Israelite people when they were walking from Egypt back to what became their homeland. His provision was strange but satisfying. Called manna, laying on the ground each day when they awoke. They were instructed to collect only what they needed for their families, and no more. Extra always spoiled.

My author friend is comparing this kind of trust and dependence to the trust I/ we need today. So life is tuff, and we want to just chuck the circumstances that make it miserable. I've considered chucking some of my "bumps" (NOT Larry!), but am still hanging on. The point was made that when we walk away, we lose the privilege of seeing this "provision". What God has given me has brought me through today, and it brought me through a whole lot of yesterdays! If I just chuck those "bumps", what surprises might I miss! What miracles might I never see! Motivation! Inspiration!

But make no mistake -- this as no easy choice. The bumps are pretty unpleasant at times. They can get worse. I still believe God has my/ your back! He will be "ENOUGH" for as long as I let Him be. I think He wants to be my ENOUGH. I think He wants me to realize HE is my ONLY provision, that every other gift I receive in life comes first through Him. DUH! Yes, I forget it way too often.

So how long will I let Him be enough? I want it to be forever, but I need His strength even to hang on. I need enough strength for just today.

Blessings! Enjoy your today! He's got you covered!

Something Needed at the Right Time

I picked up a new book recently called "Manna", referring to the food that God provided out of nowhere when the Hebrews had left their slavery in Egypt and were heading back to their "promised land" and site of our modern Israel. The term has come to mean something critical provided in timely fashion.

Our second little princess-granddaughter is due to arrive in about 2 months. Her siblings have come early, so we'll see if she waits or not. Her arrival is more unnerving because one of the tests doctors routinely give for pregnancy has left us all in the wake of uncertainty. The health we assume with most pregnancies is suddenly in question. And the greater question is not how will she do, but how will we do?

It relieves me to hear my kids voicing their fears. Lets me know they are normal, they aren't withdrawing from reality. It also guides my prayer and concern for them.

I opened this "Manna" book yesterday, finally ready to lay myself open to thought, and to direction. I need some "manna". I need something critical provided in a timely fashion. I need to know that God will supply whatever my kids need to face whenever they have to face it. I need to relinquish my need to rescue them, to the God who actually does the healing, who knows what is needed, by whom, and at what point. And I need the timing of One who will allow the spiritual exercise and growth of faith before intervening. I've often seen parents who rescue earlier than I thought wise -- Huh! Bet God chuckles at seeing me do it too.

I'm making my way through this lesson, tears streaking down my face as I identify. I know what it is to be numb, to feel forgotten, to question my importance to God. I have felt dried up with no energy to make me disappear. But I've also seen tough times pass, with the sweet breezes of energy returning. I saw it in myself when I saw the love pass between the eyes of my daughters and sons-in-law. I've felt it as I've seen grievances forgotten between friends. And I've believed it as I've seen strangers listen and love me in my pains. We often need a body to hug, not just a hope. And God provides whatever we need.

So I keep on. Fifty years ago my parents sang a song together, "I Don't Know About Tomorrow". Still true. Economy, health, kids, govenment, weather. I keep on because the Giver of all good things is still giving. Still loving, still caring. As the author of this book phrased it, I want my safety to not be determined by my ability but by God's.

I'm going to be OK. So are my kids. So are my grandkids. I'm trusting God, reminding him, trusting him, reminding him. He won't forget, but I need the constant entrustment. All is safe and all is well.

IF I COULD SHARE A MESSAGE WITH THE WORLD

If I could share a message with the world
Is profit more by pen, the smile, the touch?
Would I convey more passion through my words
Or through a smile and prayer shared at a lunch?
Which messages do we most easily hear?
The passive, or the painful thumps?

If I could share a message with the world
Perhaps I’d choose to do it just through you.
I’d tell of hopes and dreams now unfulfilled
But heights I’ve climbed and awesome vistas viewed.
So many unexpected joys, once lived
Show open doors ne’er glimpsed or hope pursued.

‘Tis ordinary days that yield these sites
And ordinary folks these porters be.
A simple “welcome, friend” the vessel’s ramp
That carries me to new sights unbelieved.
Great lives forever yearning, dreaming, yet
Awaiting faith on sweet words blessed with peace.

So hopefully this message to the world
Is passing now from friend to foe anew;
That life is lived in ordinary fields
That border heaven’s meadows with earth’s dew,
Reflecting every longing soul’s heart cry,
Met with each two-world glimpse of glory’s view.

Coincidences?

Just finished the cross country part of my current 12-day trek. The first nephew (or niece) on the Duncan side married last weekend -- after a sweet 5-year courtship. I flew to OH for the wedding, and enjoyed time with all the sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews, and of course, my dad. Daddy and I flitted one night through numerous memories of my childhood, like the lay of our homes in the late 50's, why Lois swallowed the alarm clock button (when she was 3!), how visiting evangelists entertained themselves and scared us with their own bravado, and how many different kinds of animals we'd raised. Daddy is 87 now, and showing it, but he is still my hero.
Jenny, Jon and the kids drove (up) from Nashville for the wedding, and stayed overnight. Emily looked every bit the fairy princess she enacted for the wedding -- she was flower girl. Before the wedding she told everyone grandma was going to walk down the aisle with her. Ha! Jenny walked with her -- the better plan I'm sure. Her mama would best

know how to deal with an unexpected -- and what do you expect from a 3 1/2 yr old if not the unexpected. After the walk, she kept busy dumping and picking up remaining petals till the homily and vows were finished. Paul was a hoot to watch as well, blustering past anything in his path -- except his mama. At 16 months he's not afraid of much -- not even Aunt Lois' dog. Such a thrill to see them. Paul is coming w Jenny Friday night to Nampa and our grad weekend!

Yesterday I awoke in Columbus at 5 am (2 am Wenatchee time), to fly out to Chicago to Seattle to Boise. Cindy P met me at the Boise airport and took me to their place, where I'm hibernating for about 24 hours. Last night I fell asleep about 8 their time with NO sleep aids -- no machine, no tylenol, no sleeping pill. Just the rain forest music. Today I'll nap, shower, nap, read, and be ready for grad party shopping after dinner with Lora and Joy. Another good weekend coming up! Can't wait to see all three grandsons trailing around this weekend, playing together. Pics will come next week, as I forgot to bring my camera cable.

And soon, our second little princess will arrive! Libby is due in only 2 1/2 more months. WOW! I've met some folks on this trip who have only one, or even NO grandkids, even tho kids are grown and out of the house. How blessed are we? (NOT that grandkids are more important than the well being of our adult kids! They are just icing! Cake is good w/o icing, but icing is awesome too.)

Speaking of folks I've met on the trip! I had some interesting encounters, some "coincidences" that really charged, challenged, and uplifted me. First was a clinical neurologist heading to a medical conference in Seattle. I was reading "The Song of Abraham" by Ellen Gunderson Traylor. AWESOME read relating the human blunders and courage of a man who really believed in Someone no one else dared to believe, in circumstances of stark and dreadful isolation. But "Abraham believed God". I was awestruck. This interesting doctor struck me as possibly of Jewish descent, and as it turned out, he actually was born in Israel to parents who migrated there after the war. Next year he plans to take his only child to Masada in Israel for her bar mitzvah, and I was excited both with and for him as he shared with me.

The connections of that encounter both charged and uplifted me. How amazing to meet such a person as I was pondering Abraham in my book. I felt like someone had orchestrated it -- for my benefit, or maybe likewise his? But Someone was noting.........

Then after the weekend, when I was heading for my gate in Columbus, I was filling my waterbottle at a fountain, with an Amish woman standing right by. Most Amish in Ohio come from Wayne and Holmes County. We chatted about what was allowable on the planes (smile!) and then in the course of small talk, learned that her sister (possibly now deceased) had been married to a brother of our good friend and writer, David Kline, of Fredericksburg OH. I lived with David and Elsie Kline for a college course experience, and have maintained friendship for the 35 years since. We last saw them about 3 years ago. Another "coincidence" that I wonder about.

The flights to SEA went fine, no long layovers, no scares, nothing anymore stressful than the long hours, waiting, eating fast food fast and having little time for restroom breaks. Once in SEA I headed for Wendys and a good salad, parked myself in front of the window wall overlooking incoming and outgoing planes. A couple my age eventually took the bench nearby, and corraling my trash led to conversation. They were accompanying a George Fox Univ group of college juniors to China and Tibet, and we began sharing. Another interesting and uplifting conversation.

Last, I walked to my gate and saw that, had I waited till I thought was the time for my flight, I'd have missed it ..... and I felt somebody was looking out for me.

I missed Larry lots this weekend, especially in lieu of the loss of friends' 54-yr-old son to a sudden massive heart attack. Life never happens in quite the organized way want or expect.

But I'm more convinced than ever that the same God who watched over Abraham, and asked more than Abraham thought he could ever give, was watching over me. No migraines, no close calls to heighten stress, no conflict with friends or family. Instead, several unexpected blessings that didn't have to happen, would most likely have not happened ..... except by the hand of a Master Designer, who is always watching over me.

I'm lucky, fortunate, blessed, however one wants to call it. I miss my husband, but am thankful for the phones. He called me this morning! First time he has placed the call since I left -- but ok considering that yesterday was the last day of his long-day stretch. He had worked 12-14 hr days for the 14 days previous, no days off. Thank God for a job, for one he can enjoy, for one where he knows he will get paid.

Much is bad in the world, but much is good. All is safe and well, with One who knows no coincidences.