What Blows In -- OR Out -- With the Storms

I guess last night was pretty windy. Not for me. I was deep into la-la-land. Too many days lately w a sideline headache from too late nights and too early mornings. Larry has started bloom time, and I go with him some mornings to count blooms in the orchards in prep for experiments of the day. It's just nice to have him tell me it's nicer having me there ..... though following him row to row if I don't get the gist of what we're doing leaves a little challenge. After yesterday I feel I have a better grasp than I've ever had before, so it makes everything click. I feel left out of his life when I don't know or don't understand what is going on with his work. He may or may not have the energy to listen to what has happened in mine .... especialy when he's baffled. (When I catch him in that zoned-out mode, we're learning to tread sweetly, and joke, and try, try, try again. :O)

Saturday he left about 10 am, and worked till 4 pm. Driving home, he called and told me a couple of disappointments, one being bad news from a friend, the other that the first experiment of the season was a wash. No results to record, this season a flop, on that first experiment. When he needs at least two-year results to write a paper, and Uncle Sam is breathing down his neck for papers, that was pretty bad news. With his work the weather is considered to be the most uncontrolled variable, but they had hoped they were prepped for all other pressure.

We have houseguests presently, and are enjoying watching two young teens live in our crackerbox downstairs. It's not ideal changing schools mid-year, but these guys are hanging tough. It's great hearing their evals of how the day went, what new experience they encountered. They're weathering the storms. Yep, storms aren't just for adults.

So Larry had his storm too. Disappointments in the lab. I asked how he was doing, shortly after he arrived home. "Trying to have a good attitude..." he said. He asked about the kids (parents back in Olympia cleaning carpets in prep for renters), and I suggested that John wanted to go play basketball. Larry immediately shifted his focus to them, off himself .... and life improved.

The problems don't go away, but the focus can change. One niece recently posted on her blog, "see life through the windshield rather than the rearview mirror." Good advice! For us all.

So when the sand blows in my eye, I need to start looking for -- diamonds?

I Know She Loves Me

I spent a great week with grandkids the week before Easter. As he was leaving for his day, our 3-yr-old said to his mom, "I know she loves me...."

All the way home, every time I thought of that statement, I teared up. So simple, so profound -- so true.

But truth is, he's not the only one I love. I want others to know how much I love them.

I love my husband, my daughters, my sons-in-law, many, many, many friends.

I've grouped them, but they are individuals. Unique! Special! Delightful! Precious!

I love people who don't know I care. I want to live a life of love.

Hopefully, they will someday think to themselves -- "I know she loves me!"

What Easter Means to Me!

I didn't hear anyone verbalize specifically what I want to state as MY joy in Easter.

I love the family time, kids finding eggs, adults sneaking candy, a chance to buy extra treats.

I love the joy and excitement in church, memories of the orchids my dad used to buy. He purchased one for mother, and one for each of us five daughters. One Easter I slid on the icy sidewalk walking to church. Another Easter I got a new baby sister -- at 6:30 AM--Daddy was back in time for church.

I love the hope of eternal life. A churchy phrase, probably better said, "the promise of life after death." Because Jesus came back from death, we can believe all he said about himself, heaven, and being with him after death.

But what I love most is one of the last things Jesus said before he returned to heaven, that he would send a "comforter". Not a fuzzy cozy blanket, but a being that would not just keep me secure, but would walk with me, through all the "stuff" of life.

THIS IS MY JOY in Easter. Jesus lives. His life is historically verified, so he was either a hoax or the Son of God, as he professed. He said that true character will be proven, as will likewise the fakes. It still takes faith, to believe, but also to hang on.

This hanging-on is what life is about. Hanging on when there is no rest for young parents. Hanging on when finances are so tight that $20 debts make us cringe. Hanging on when parents get news of cancer. Life seems dull when everything goes good, so ultimately, hanging on is where the rubber meets the road.

My God is with me in the hanging-on times. He has walked with me this past year as I have felt endless darkness, and sometimes no sense of his presence or provision. He has sent several of those "oasis flowers", but always after I've remembered to plead for them -- not take for granted that they would pop up. MY GOD! HEAR THAT! He is MY GOD!

I love the story of the tomb and the ladies finding it empty. I love knowing that one of his closest friends is remembered for his fear and doubt -- it comforts me at my lowest times. But I love most knowing that that was only the beginning. The rest of the story is that MY GOD is with me NOW!

It's not a thing about knowledge or smarts. It's all about trust. I realize each day that I can do nothing to protect my kids or grandkids, but I pray MY GOD will protect them, first from evil, and then from danger. I ask him to walk them through the hard stuff, because that is what grows them into sturdy trees that will produce good fruit.

On to today! Who knows what! I know how! With MY GOD!

My Little Tempters

I'm visiting grandkids right now -- and their parents too, of course -- but Papa Larry couldn't get away from work. The fruit blossoms with which he works are ready to pop, which means Papa will soon start his minimal 2 week stint of 18 hr days, then another 2 weeks of 12 hr days, slowing to the regular 8 hrs in about 4-5 weeks. No weekend runs at apple blossom time.

We all miss him. The first day I was here, Ian asked me, "Grandma, we've all been hoping you would move closer to us, but you haven't done it. How come?" Oooooh, tough one. How do I answer that and not confuse him with concepts of extended time? My best stab was, " ... well, when God tells us it is the right time, Ian....."

And today Luke spoke up, while we were driving. "I miss Papa Larry. And he misses me when he is at his house, and grandma misses me when she is at her house." No question. A statement. They know we love them. That tugs at my heart (and brings tears to my eyes)even as I write this.

True, God knows when is the right time to be with these little guys and their "Princess Strawberry" (as they have dubbed Libby). God knows how much their loving comments pull at grandparent-hearts -- and might even detract loving grandparents from making hard choices, in favor of grandkids. There is an obvious reason for the saying, "grandparents get to spoil them". Whether we actually spoil them or not, the temptation is SO definitely there.

I TRIED to play the superhero woman! Ian told me I had two swords in my back -- I thought that meant I was stabbed twice. It actually meant I had two sheaths on my back from which I could pull swords to fight. I'm definitely not up on -- or any good at -- this. I contorted and tried to die dramatically, till they told me, no! I could fight! Joy said she got tears from laughing so hard ..... :o)

Libby adores her brothers! She's totally engaged with them, eyes following every move. This sweet little dumpling was filling every inch of her baby seat (only 8 1/2 mos, mind you), so Mama Joy moved her into another car seat. But now she can't see to talk to brothers! Today she talked anyway. She's definitely not one to be overlooked or forgotten. She loves their shows and movies, their antics, the animals they chase. She loves Mama and Grandma's hair -- and earrings! Pulled one of mine off the other day.

Easter will be here soon -- 3 days! Joy painted crosses with them Monday morning. She said they immediately saw the crosses as SWORDS! She's learning to adapt to this "warrior" bent of the male species (erupting constantly in the little guys -- a little more controlled in the big ones). I'm still trying to understand it. For the most part, I step back, swallow, then laugh! :) Anyway, we were driving this morning when Ian saw a church cross and said, "Look Mom! A cross where Jesus died for us!" They are hearing us -- we can't give up just because it's so much work.

It's supposed to be work -- for grandmas and papas, for teachers and daycare workers, for neighbors and church friends. We are working TOGETHER. Yeah, "it takes a village". It takes a family. It takes lots of love.

So while I love my little Tempters, I must not be mastered by them. I'll look for as many ways as I can to love them, and remember Who I love most.

Happy Easter, All!