I Believe in the Rose

Life has been different lately. It's never what we expect, and too often not what we hope for.

A new pastor and family have finally arrived, signaling the end of Larry's overwhelming responsibility as lay leader of our church in the absence of a senior pastor. Other lay leaders as well as interim staff were more than critical -- they each affected our lifes through experiences only God knew would happen. My "endless desert" now looks like a contained learning opportunity, but I often doubted I could last emotionally. Emotions fatigue me, and at the same time they build, stretch, and lift me up. I've had soooooooooooo many experiences I've wanted to run away from these past three years, and slowly I've learned -- once again! -- that it's not about me (DUH!!!).

Some of the "desert roses" God has put in my lives have been temporary, like amazing answers to prayer. Others are new friendships that will last. It's been so FORTIFYING to see those in the next generation who are letting faith in God take them places where they are appalled to go, apart from a faith that God is providing, and goes ahead of them. Watching young adults praise and lead others in praise while they live without the livelihoods they've started out on! Watching young families trust that God will carry them -- and our parent-prayers support them -- till the storms settle! Watching new leaders step eagerly into roles they had previously declined. Watching my own kids thrive, and believe, and survive their own upheavals. Yes, life is about timing, but often not our own timing. God gives us the "roses" we need when we need them, sometimes in money, sometimes in guts, sometimes in courage.

Yesterday I had an experience I've been previously unprepared to tackle. I accepted a sub call, but was told upon my arrival at the school that I was needed in a different slot. The class where I'd be placed was one of kids I'd not yet been able to control when I'd had them in a half-hour PE class on other days when I'd subbed. No question, as first graders they are a handful, and their regular teacher commented once that part of the control is being used to it.

So I smiled, "sure, no problem" and headed for this class. "Lord, I need more than a little extra today....." I prayed as I walked down the hall. I straightened my back, read, reviewed the notes, and did my best to be ready when they came in. We started off with smiles and hugs and "where's our teacher?", but the morning moved along steadily. I started to send them to recess an hour early, but of course a half-dozen of them corrected me -- quick, back to the notes! The day was actually quite successful -- despite a dozen students needing to "pull cards" (the current discipline method in many schools, cards being the method of counting misdemeanors), and by days end I realized I'd actually enjoyed it -- them! -- and my fears were not only gone, they were no longer founded. My strength came from within -- from actually beyond me -- but my Strength showed me how to better utilize my own resources and better utilize the resources of the students.

It's scary to wonder what tests of growth God might have for me in the coming years. Good to know the good times hide what's beyond the next ridge. But also good to know that all the "oases" and "desert roses" God has provided in the past are just promises of more flowers and springs that are still ahead.

And by the way, after walking through "communication issues" Larry and I have been bridging these last few days about our backyard :o), we are working on a beautiful garden to enjoy in the years ahead. Everything from communication to bushes require maintenance, and some of our bushes needed DRASTIC work. Ha! Ha! Lots of work makes for sore muscles but a clean fresh feeling and fragrant results.

I believe in the roses of life. And I've also just recently learned that roses aren't as fragile as were once thought.

Let's keep trudging together. I hope we can share roses, and cross paths often, and continually point one another -- in the times of despair and fear -- to the Source of our Strength!

Blessings for a rose-filled day!