Making Time

I've experienced a gamut of thoughts and feelings in one week, making me doubt earlier confidences of the Road God has planned for me. Thank goodness for those close friends who are willing to stay close and encourage, willing to so gently say, "... if you really think so.... but you might consider...." Now, having stepped back from my struggles, distancing myself temporarily from involvement, things are starting to look differently. They encouraged me first, now I'm still begging myself for permission, even insisting on it -- I need rest.

This is possibly my greatest vice. I don't make time for personal needs. I don't silence my mind and look to my Source for renewal. Too much mental energy is focused on meeting needs around me, and my mind and body becomes an out-of-gas car that can't carry others where they need to go, can't carry me very well, and feels like an old clunker. Even old clunkers keep running when we maintain them.

I admire the discipline that it takes to maintain the body -- the ROUTINE! I hate that word! I am so random that I love variety in everything from breakfast food to music. But a little routine makes everything go more smoothly. Brushing my teeth before bed and smoothing lotion on a clean face every day keeps me smiling! A clean kitchen sink and food in the frig keeps me calm.

Yep, a mom has to go with the flow of family, and interruptions, and malfunctions, but I admire the ones who make time for that maintenance. One of the strengths of today's young moms is their priorities on getting together and attending their own needs. Sorry I didn't learn the value of that a long time ago. But never too late!

God, help me have some routine today! Help me limit my work, and make maintenance more of my routine. Help me entrust others more to YOUR maintenance, and remember I can't help others if I have to be fixed first.

Maybe God tried to endorse that with the sabboth principle (in the Ten Commandments), but a lot was lost in translation. I thought it meant a day to spend doing anything Christian -- that turned out to not be restful at all. And thus was sort of lost the whole idea. I need it again.

I will make time for me right now. Walks. Fun. Listening. Renewal.