Something Else?

Yeah..... which "something else" shall I begin today?

During college I collected quips, starting with a couple amazing books called "Apples of Gold" and "Wings of Silver". I chose from those quotes that struck me the most, then additional ones I found any and everywhere else. One quote that has stuck with me came from a story about a missionary in China who was terribly sick, and needed the healing power of oranges. A Chinese friend walked 3 days over the mountains (and back) to get him those oranges. These two men's lives were cemented forever. The conclusion was "If you want someone to become your friend, ask him to do you a favor." That makes the receiving a little easier when I think of it in light of giving the friend gratitude, and the privilege of blessing ME.

Another quip, "If you don't stick your neck out, you'll never get your head above the crowd."

"A diamond is a piece of coal that stuck to the job."

"Roses, like thorns, need sunshine and mud."

Life doesn't settle down too often. Up the road a few years I'm hoping for a small orderly house, days to spend drinking coffee (or tea for me) till 10 am, and both of us sleeping 10-7. There will come a time to retire from the demands we face now. We won't FOREVER be displaced from our bedroom, just like a toddler won't FOREVER be in diapers. But obviously that time isn't now.

Now is time in the trenches, with life happening around us that sometimes seems like war. It's too busy, too confusing, too controversial. I hate seeing the stress Larry is under, and I ask him every morning what time he woke. Usually it's 4:30, after a 10:30 to-sleep. His doctor told him he should try to get more sleep. His life is just too stressful.

So I do something else in the meantime........ I remember that God is making a diamond out of him. I've seen that diamond cut and polished the last few years, till it's appearance and shine only faintly resemble the stone I knew 10 years ago. I note that God is growing me in boldness and teaching me to listen for his smallest voice. Thirty years ago, no one would have ever called me bold; not even ten years ago. Now I see standing up not as boldness but as obedience, and I'll do it only when I feel absolutely led by my Maker. Fewer and fewer people's disapproval scares me.

Today I'm making ring bearer's pillows for Larry's neice's wedding in two weeks. Love it! Love the opportunity to be a little creative, and even more, to contribute some help. Love creating the bow ties for two little grandsons as they walk sheepishly -- yet with those onery eyes -- down the aisle. At least I hope they both walk.

And also in the meantime, I keep working on our "construction site". We can start on flooring in our bedroom tonight, and hopefully start moving back in within a few days. PLEASE pray we do the floor quickly!

Another quote from a dear friend of my dad's, Reuben Welch, "... when you think nothing is happening, something is happening." This work on the house has bonded Larry and I -- sometimes after tough discussions, but as we strive to listen to each other's hearts. As I wait on God, I'm seeing the little signs of his handiwork in myself and others that weren't present before. And as I long to see change, I remember he is the "site foreman" overseeing all, and I'm just a workman.

My "something else in the meantime" is my everyday, often fun, often hard. I want to become a diamond that stuck to the job of tough, ordinary living.

More Than I Asked For!

Larry and I bought property three years ago where we thought we'd like to build a retirement home. Yep, three years ago that sounded good. After a year-and-a-half of living in a construction zone, my mindset has shifted. Neither of us think the same now as we did then. But to sell........ Not a possibility. No one wants it, and it's worth half what we paid (are paying!), just like the dilema half of America now faces.

Larry's greatest desire is to do his best at everything, especially his stewardship. He's second-guessed this transaction repeatedly, wondering if we made a mistake. Lots of properties had doubled in one year prior to the time of our purchase, but had we listened to the wrong voice?

I've tried to reassure him that I really felt God affirming this to me at the time we bought it. That WAS 3 years ago, and clouds have darkened dramatically since then. Yes, I've even had my own doubts.

Yesterday I left Nampa and the Stocketts to get back to my "real life". Before I left town, I decided to check on our property and see who now owned the recently-sold house adjacent to our lot. Just getting our name before the new owners and our willingness to consider "creative" ideas might provide openings to a future re-sale, I thought. I knocked and was welcomed by associates in a new social services coordination agency. What a relief to learn the new residents would be good, reliable, trustworthy neighbors! Living far away makes for lots of ignorance (about responsibility and condition of the property), which leads to trust -- sometimes justified, sometimes not. We were very fortunate with the previous owners, and I was very grateful to see the new ones would be just as safe.

But right before I left, the office manager took me to meet the business owner. I can't describe my amazement when the door opened to reveal a gentleman Larry and I have recently met through our Wenatchee church. This gentleman is helping our church assess its strengths and weaknesses, and prepare for calling our next pastor. He is a man whose integrity has been proven by his life choices, the affirmation of many associates, and his own wise counsel. He is accountable to many people, and prioritizes God and family over the accumulation of things. In addition, I learned that his company works with our son-in-law's company, and one associate in the office already knew Jeremy's name.

I talked with Paul for about 30 minutes. Both of us were flabbergasted at the "coincidence". We discussed some business details, but of greatest note to me was the fact that God knew who would buy here. He knew before we ever made the purchase. He knew what would happen to the market. He knew how we would struggle. We are very curious what more He will do! but the assurance of His involvement leaves me speechless!

I drove for 3 hours, unable to tell anyone! Joy was busy with the kids. Larry was in a meeting. No one else would get the impact I was feeling. I didn't know whether to bawl or scream (with excitement). MY GOD HAS BEEN WORKING! (yeah, duh!)

I CHOOSE to look up. I MAKE myself look for God's promises and hope. Everyday I make a DECISION to live above the drudgery of uncertainty. But I still struggle with doubt and fear. Satan throws "what if's" at me, and even if I duck, I see them whirring by. Then I remember the struggle isn't bad, but the giving in to despair is!

THANK YOU GOD for the assurances you send my way! You don't owe me anything! You don't have to prove yourself to me, or keep calling to tell me you're still watching. You don't have to bless me with loving family, or A/C (in 105 temps!!!), or a husband who would do anything for me. Many of your children don't have any of those, and they know you care for them. Why? I can only conclude you do it so I can "pay it forward", pass it on, do for others!

..... but it's still more than I could have asked for!

Quotes of the Day

OK, so remember, I'm still with Joy, with a new baby and a 3 yr old and 4 1/2 yr old.

Joy wanted to encourage awake time today (in Libby), so I called the boys over to talk to her when her (blue!) eyes were open. A little later, Luke goes over to her, "Hi! I'm your big bludder!" He is so sweet to her, covering her with 6-8 burp cloths at a time. Joy had to uncover her so she wouldn't sweat. Luke didn't like that........ Tonight she found 8 of them laid gently on top of the baby swing. Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

So Joy took Ian and Libby on a walk this afternoon while Luke was still napping. Ian wanted to push the stroller, and after a while, Joy asked if he wanted her to take a turn. "No, I have to be a good big brother!" Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

When our kids were little, I thought that having children was the cake, and having siblings was the icing on the cake. So precious.

The Cost of Joy

Larry and I left Wenatchee last Monday morning, arriving about 6 pm in Nampa, in time to go out to dinner with Joy and Jer. Joy started labor about 10:30 and delivered at 8:42 am Tuesday morning. Libby is gentle, hearty, and beautiful. We're all reveling in the miracle of her health and safe arrival.

My job and commitment was and is to help keep the Stockett home fires burning. Plans were already in place for Luke and Ian to go to the in-town grandparents for the night after her arrival. So L & I had Tuesday to help in-hospital, spread the word, sit w Joy. Wednesday we both played with the boys, and Larry flew home Wed night. I've watched and played with the boys since. Friday when mom was finally released and brought Libby home from hospital.

Thanks for all the love, prayers, and concern for Joy, for Libby, and for us. It was wonderful. I don't think I ever enjoyed a birth so much, and I'm sure it was because I knew on a close personal level that everything could have turned out differently. For several months Joy lived with the possibility that a shadow on Libby's ultrasound could be evidence of a birth defect. Only in the last few weeks has that fear been relieved. Even at birth the attending pediatrician studied another "irregularity", because of her "history" in ultrasounds, but she left the hospital on Friday with a clear report. All is good, thank God.

I've had a week of joy, first watching her emergence into the family, then playing at home with big brothers Ian and Luke. I'm exhausted, have had headaches, but also some of the best times I've had w grandkids for months. The boys are into male bonding, and grandma is loved, but not really first choice for the tough stuff. But we played hide-n-seek, went to the zoo, had ice cream cones, and prayed for Libby "to treat us nice" (uh, what?) One morning Ian grabbed my hand and led me to his bed to hide from Lukey, our heads under his covers -- my feet sticking out below. At the zoo we saw only monkeys -- maybe because all the other animals were hiding from the 103 heat coming later in the day. On the way we saw a motorcyclist, and Ian noted his helmet ON, and yelled "Good job, Mister!" At DQ we had ice cream cones! With their gentle licks, I knew we'd have some kind of drippy mess, but who cared! Lukey kept groaning w heavenly delight, ".... MMMMmmmmmm". Upon leaving, Lukey couldn't find his $3 sunglasses, mounted on his forehead, and we all had a good laugh at HIS "senior moment". That became their new joke line: "Grandma, where are my sunglasses?" Such comedians! Such good laughs! Such memories!


One morning we were romping, and Luke got nose to nose, and said, "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!" I took that to mean I was OK, female not-withstanding! Chuckles consumed me! and we romped on.

Ian's most precious statement was , "... look Mom! Jesus is making Libby's hair to grow!"

I've also had opportunity to have some good times w Lora. School is over! and she is winding down. Boxes are mounting in their living room as they pack in preparation for their end-of-the-month move to Portland. Today I helped a little, maybe a little more tomorrow.

And the price? Yep, I'm paying a price. So what! The kids and Larry are concerned I will be wiped out, but I didn't come for a vacation. I realize it will cost me something, but I'm the only one to really know the returns. The deep, deep joy of being valued by family, of being able to meet needs, exceeds any sacrifice. Life is about giving. "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace (the Prayer of St Francis of Assisi)....(because) it is in giving that we receive."

Another connection to my "Manna" book. I read in "Manna" about passing on the heritage of a die-hard faith; faith that is first conveyed through role modeling. And man! these little guys are picking up now on their role models! They are learning so much! Mom asked tonight, "... and who is the most powerful?" Ian has no problem remembering it is GOD!

I want to be a die-hard love-servant/role model, one who will give what I can when it is needed, as long as I can. At times I must watch, and at times I can step in, but I can always love, encourage, and pray. I will do that.

So for now, the cost of joy is something I can definitely afford! How grateful I am! So very grateful because I receive!

An AMAZING Breakthrough!

We're starting to see where the end of the upstairs remodel will be, though we can't yet give it a date. Back bedroom ceilings are now scraped and getting primer, awaiting texturing, then paint, paint, paint. But that is good! I can do paint! Larry will do floor in one room while I paint the other.

Still ongoing has been the debate about whether to make the front room back into two ...... like other houses on the street ...... which (he thinks) might make it sell better ...... but I thought would make a return to teensy rooms....................

And then it came out. Why hadn't it come out sooner? Why did it take words that made no sense, that reflected what seemed to me a contradiction to behavior I've observed for 31 years? Why did he tell me that NOW he didn't want to let go of the desk which he's always told me was too big, he didn't want to work at, I could use because he preferred a roll top desk? Why did he now say, "Can't I do with my stuff what I want?"

I'd missed what I've so often told others to look for! The hidden meaning behind the words. The itch that he couldn't even identify.

That desk signified something (long ago) given to HIM. Something he shouldn't have to share. Located in a place where he could find identity, despite what "mess" might be in the rest of the house.

His office.

We've never had space for an office before. With three girls and my many projects, we've used every bit of space we've had. But the girls have been gone for years! Why did it come out now?

I think Larry pushed for those teensy rooms with subconscious hope that he might get space to put "his" things, his books, his laptop, his momentos -- not much, but whatever he wanted. Just his own personal space.

He's not sleeping well again, awake about 2:30 or 3 for the last two nights. I hate that. When I awoke at 4:40 this morning and found him up, I went out to ask what was keeping him awake. I told him that I'd be happy to put up a wall if he wanted the room for an office. No sirens, bells or whistles then, but he told me after lunch that he struggled to get back to sleep after that because of excitement over actually having his OWN ROOM! Not a room for sleeping, mind you. Probably not for using much except when he first gets up and has his quiet time in the morning.

I've fought putting in that wall for a year. In my mind no one would rather have small rooms when they can have a big one. HE would rather have a teensy corner -- to call his own.

Lord, help me remember, again, to listen to the unsaid.

The beat goes on.....

Busy week. We picked cherries last Saturday because they would be sprayed this week. I always pick more and plan to share, but often end up not finding someone who wants them till they are too far gone to give. So I pitted and dried, froze some, and have more in the frig to do tomorrow.....

Remodel is coming along so well. I am thrilled with how the bathrooms turned out. Lots of clean-up to do, and need to paint baseboards, doors, and touch-up. Larry is eager to get our bedroom ceiling scraped, then textured and painted so he can lay floor, and we can move back. Right now we have clothes in every room of the house, and never know which room holds what we want.

Can't wait to meet sweet little Libby! I have just a little more to do to finish covering her rocker cushions. Wonder if she will have blonde curls or straight locks, be a fighter or a lover....

I'm so thankful to be home, here, w/Larry. He went backpacking last weekend, and I missed him. I'm thankful for opportunities, each new day, great kids(incl sons!), grandkids, and friends. And I'm thankful for God, so thankful.

Happy Fourth of July! Thank God for America!