Terrified Shepherds?

From the stories I've heard, shepherds have to be pretty brave guys. They are roaming a "wilderness" not like the cool lush fields I've imagined. We've heard the story of David (from the Bible) killing a bear and a lion. And reaching or climbing over cliffs to rescue a wayward lamb takes some kind of courage. There's a reason we're not all rock climbers.

So why were the shepherds terrified when the angels came to announce birth of a baby in the nearby village? I heard the thot yesterday that they were in awe -- no, more than awe or amazement; actually terror -- of the Presence that they sensed. The Bible says it was "the glory of the Lord". I've been wondering just what that is.

All the things I know about God, and much more, wrapped into a "Glory"! Power, justice, strength, mercy, grace and forgiveness -- on a scale beyond my best mathematical comprehension. I can't imagine just what that would be, but I do believe the likelihood of terror. I am too weak to be all I want to be, even tho I know I should. I just mess up too often. Ask my family. Being in that presence would likewise bring ME to terror.

I don't think "the Glory" came to threaten the biblical "bouncers". The story says the angels came in peace. Somehow, that means peace for me today too -- Christmas and more. I'm still a possibility.

Whispers

I had a great day yesterday! Those hyped, hormonally-driven 7th graders again. Ha! I took along some baby candy canes and red vine licorice to keep them motivated ... and the day moved along nicely.

The fun was in watching their behavior. Who'd have expected the best students in the class to come back, begging (in their coniving ways) for another candy cane? Two even came back at the end of the day to see if I had any left! I watched an ADD kid with unreadable homework pull out his Nintendo with Sudoku on it, as he ran back and forth from laptop to desk, multitasking. I heard another student talk about a 20 yr old sister-in-law dying from leukemia. Another student told me I smelled good.

WOW! The payback for investing in a couple bags of candy. Really? Maybe it helped, but I think it came from listening, not to what they were saying, but what they weren't saying. I'm trying, but I still have a lot to learn about listening.

I'm trying to listen to the whispers of my heart. When it's frigid like today, to thoughts of those with cold homes. When I have a headache, to thoughts of those who've just found cancer. When I miss my kids, to thoughts of homeless who haven't seen theirs for much longer than I.

I need to listen.......

The Right Gift

So many things lately remind me that we're all a bunch of weaklings, trying to do the right thing.

I showed up for work an hour late yesterday -- got the days mixed up! YUCK!

Someone else is trying to improve his leadership style 'cause the family survival depends on it.

Another special person realizes how far short he falls from the abilities he thinks he needs.

We're all weak, insufficient, fumbling, NOT ENOUGH!

Maybe we're made with limitations that our Creator hopes will awaken us to our lack of invincibility. Maybe this awareness can awaken us to new relationships that will enhance our love and compassion. Maybe this love and compassion is really at the base of what every career, every obligation is about.

What do I need this season? I think I really need a greater sense of contentment. I'm not meant to save the world. I AM meant to do my best at the job where I serve today. Yesterday I needed patience -- and compassion -- for hyped, hormonally-driven seventh graders asking "how old were you when you learned about Santa Claus?" Today I need to accept that I can't make and bake all I want in the next two weeks. Tomorrow I need to just enjoy the joys of the children around me.

Sure, I'm a weakling, but not a failure. I can listen, but not fix. This Christmas I want to revel in what I have, what I can glean without accumulating. Pleasure. Smiles. Peace. Hope.

And I do believe that it exists because of the One Perfect Gift of Christmas.

Thanksgiving

When our girls were little, we drove home one night listening to a 4-year-old backseat singer, thanking God for the moon and the stars, toys, and yes -- broccoli. We heard that song this weekend -- without mention of the broccoli. Little ones singing a tune that has never been written down, from a heart that is so content and overflowing, mentioning - or not mentioning - the simple joys of life. That really brings you back to earth - remembering the simple pleasures. And how close I was to forgetting them amid the "big" problems of life.

It was fun. No - precious. Watching two little heads peer at the multi-colored lights. "Mo' Kwismas!" "I's Bwootiful!"

Another cherished memory will be today's 6 1/2-hour drive home. (NO, we didn't speed. We ate before leaving and only made one bathroom stop!) I'm so thankful for Larry. Too many times I talk - and keep talking - to explain my point. Today he talked a lot, trying to explain his understanding of my feelings. He knows me, and appreciates what I have invested in our home, marriage, and family. He understands that sometimes I am not logical, but he also(sometimes) knows why I am not logical. We HAVE been working on this understanding (AND listening) thing for almost 31 years. Sometimes it seems like we are on different wave lengths, but today we rode the same one.

It's great to be with family. Just hanging out together. Larry mentioned (again) how God sent the right guys for our girls.

We're also thankful that gas prices are down!!! And for health for our parents. And for our siblings.

And for tomorrow. Tomorrow. A new day, a new opportunity, a new chance at hope. Gotta take it. Not taking it -- is dismal.

Blessings! Be thankful!

Home again! Jiggity!!! Jig!!!

Oh, it's good to be home! So good. Eating out is great, but gets old when you can't have just a liiiiiiittle bit of something, when you have to walk a half-mile in the cold back to the hotel every night after eating, and when you run out of "special!" restaurants, and have to start visiting them the second time! SAD! I'm SUCH a wimp! Doing hair in the humidity of Florida is really a stretch too! -- We'd saved, waited, and did enjoy our time, but there's no place like home.

NOT to say we wanted to get back into the saddle. Every so often I have to have an attitude re-adjustment regarding the stress God allows my husband to endure for the sake of a paycheck. Of course, it isn't just for a paycheck. This is where God wants him at this place in time. Which also means that dealing with HIS stress is where God also wants ME at this place in time. I just finished re-reading a book (and it's sequel) that really affirmed for me that I must let God use Larry how HE plans, not according to what I think is ENOUGH! God is in control!

Today I worked with 5 other ladies in our church assembling upholstering

fabric samples into a quilt, backed with a 2 1/2 yd piece of fleece. We have 3 mostly completed and 10 more underway. Our plan is to pass them on for distribution to the homeless of our community. I can't imagine sleeping outside as the weather is chilling down -- I'm so grateful for a house and good working furnace. But the weather isn't all that daunts them. I pray that God takes our efforts -- namely, the quilts -- and reminds these people, whomever they are, that He is with them and cares about them. We'll work more tomorrow, but hope to get them made and distributed asap.

Larry is sick. Flu probably. The guy seated next to him on the plane, coughed for 6 hours. He's still working, still getting up at 5 (better than 3 AM), still working nights and weekends. -- God is in control.

Can't wait to see the boys (Thanksgiving) -- AND the big kids! I brought Legos home on the plane for them. It is SO hard it is to decide which items to buy for grandkids when you want to buy them all! Fortunately, I can't make Legos! Ha!

I taught 5th gr sp ed Math and Science yesterday. It was a good day, two great sets of kids, but with the second set, especially, I could see how challenging it really is for them to complete a task. Most of them could grasp the tasks -- some could not. And every one of them looked like everyday, normal kids. A couple are handicapped by their situations. I wonder about the others. I feel for them all -- and admire the teachers. I admire teachers who deal with kids every day--and love them.

If I could ask one prayer for the world, it would be that we would give more grace to one another. Grace for the person who ticks us off. Grace for the appointment who forgets us. Grace for the person who endangers us because they were careless. Grace for the person who didn't know better. Grace when I don't feel like giving it. Grace when I feel I don't have any more to give. Because I've been the one who has needed grace for every one of these situations!

Blessings! Have a BRIGHT day!

I'M EXCITED!

Yes, I am! We're going on a trip! And even tho this trip (like always!) involves Larry's work, we'll have days to just play, laugh, have dinner, smile, remember, wish for kids and grandkids.......

We began planning early in the year for this trip, and that I would go along, that this would be the trip to make up for the 25th and 30th anniversary presents we didn't get to give each other. It was supposed to be Hawaii, but ...... well, maybe 35th!

Today I pruned 3 bushes in the back -- because he doesn't have time! I won't attempt to prune the junipers because he has his own way, but the holly, ornamental crab, and forsythia were monsters this year!

My sample quilt for our church project (quilts for the homeless) is done. A friend will meet and advertise while we are gone, and we'll work with volunteers to make 10-12 in a few weeks.

I've contacted moms to learn which Disney characters are grandkids' favorites right now. We'll be taking pictures with Wally & Eva, Mr. Incredible, Ariel and Tinkerbell -- if we can find them!

I need to make some more applesauce or else get more apples in the old frig. Even drying them would be good, but the drier takes so long.

Tomorrow I should deliver some donations, ask the neighbor to watch the house, wash the rest of the clothes.

His work continues to take every moment that I don't ask him to do something else, but I'm accepting it. God knows. God allows. God has a plan. I don't like this stage of the plan, but I'm not God, am I? so live with it, Linda, and be thankful!

So I thank God tonight for 3 daughters who are happy with us and a husband who grins at me when I get excited.

Northwest Beauty!

It took 15 years! Discussions. Dreams. Promises.

Finally a date, accountability to friends -- "You go with us!"

Tickets bought. Gear and lunches packed . . .

. . . and we headed up to Chelan to take Lady of the Lake into the Stehekin National Forest. AAAHHH!

Nippy? yes! Warm up? yes! We were quite comfortable both inside the boat and out on the upper deck. One guide told us that the upper Stehekin is only 8 miles from the ocean at the upper pass.

And beauty? Awesome! The majestic desolation of these rock
mountains! In some places, the walls towered up hundreds of feet. And the lake depth goes to 1486 feet in its center, 386 feet below sea level. Exceeded only by Crater Lake in Oregon, and Lake Tahoe in California/Nevada, Lake Chelan is the 3rd deepest lake in the US, and 18th deepest lake in the world.

Still we saw color -- vibrant reds and yellows! In patches
like scrapings across the mass of stone. Pines grow out of rock beds, bushes out of the silt washed down
mountainsides with spring thaws.



Some of the lower hillsides bloom with orchards, vineyards,
and of course extravagant summer homes, but all touched by
deep water reflections of rock walls and mountain forests.

Rainbow Falls is an incredible continual waterfall at the head
of the lake. Snows from the upper peaks feed it on a year-round basis, and bless us with a hidden oasis under the fallen pines and tangled brush.

The majesty is beauty for me. And the majesty speaks of God's power in check. It could all roll down in a blink, but he holds it patiently -- till the right time. So we can see and understand a little more....

The beauty, the time together, and the corny jokes of our men -- all made it a wonderful day.

Joel thinks Chad is inspired to emulate him, and carry the tradition in their family.

Any takers in ours?

Grandkids!

Oh, the blessing of being exhausted by grandkids!

Last weekend I traveled with some grandparent friends to visit our kids -- and grandkids. We had a great time together -- talking lots about -- OUR GRANDKIDS.

We arrived in time to help decorate cookies. Two little guys wearing Mom's aprons, icing and sprinkles stuck to cheeks and fingers, made a revived spirit after a long day on the road.

Joy and I had opportunity to watch "big kid" movies like "The Great
Debaters" and "The Illusionist". Good comfy time. Not movies one can

usually fall asleep to -- but Jer had a really long week.

Aunt Lora had planned on babysitting during Sunday's amazing City of Trees Marathon in Boise. (Joy and Jer both ran a spectacular 13 miles!) My visit gave Lora an extra half hour sleep Sunday morning. But no way could either of us have handled the boys at the race on our own! She and I had a great time together, taking two toddlers potty, meeting friends at the race, readying for naptime.

With the boys, we watched movies, played trains, went to McD's for ice cream, and sang in the car. All the great things a gramma loves to witness -- and be a part of. When it was time to leave, Ian invited me to daycare, then teared up when I told him I had to go home and take care of Papa. Within 5 minutes he was telling me to "go take care of Papa." Papa was sorely missed on this visit.

Jenny's Emily turned 3 yesterday! Recently Jenny got off the phone , turned, and saw Emily with hands on hips and a big grin. "Emily, did you hear what I was talking about?" "YES I DID!" It was birthday plans. As Jenny says, Emily is a "mess". All curls and grins! Paul (9 months) has officially pushed down his sister to get what he wanted.

There's nothing like the love of family and friends. It comes from hanging on in the good times and the bad, watching each person become whom he or she was created to be. And also from waiting -- WAITING -- till the next visit.

I'm working on PATIENCE. I remember an old quote from college days: "Patience is doing something else in the meantime." I always want to be doing something, so I'm incorporating more "things" into my regiment, like resting, or listening, or praying, instead of always running, or checking, or helping.

Life has had its bumps, but I'm lelarning to just live with them. Go around them. Look around rather than down. Pick the flowers instead of kicking the mud. Ha! The world will go on, and I want to go on too!!!

Find just a little flower today!

A New Day

OK, so anyone can say, "it's a new day!" So what? What does that mean?

For me it means I have another chance to clean up my house, to get my bills paid, to finish a project(s) I've not yet completed.

It also means I can work on my attitude (always a work in progress). I can look for new ways to support a discouraged co-worker or friend. I can pray for wisdom for someone who is struggling. I can reach out to people I care about who are "drifting" without purpose to their lives.

Those are things I CAN do. Many things I cannot -- yet they still afford me hope.

Somebody bigger than me can fix things -- or help me be happy in a broken situation.

Somebody bigger than me can calm my fears -- and help me rest well through the night.

Somebody bigger than me can speak to someone who wouldn't be ready to listen to even a good friend.

Somebody bigger than me can make me feel valued when my husband teases -- but didn't know I wasn't in a teasing mood.

Today is a new day! I want to see what it holds.

Pray for the teachers

I loved school as a kid... and consequently assumed I'd be a teacher.

When the time came, I was so drained by the downside of life that I didn't have the energy to hang on for a teaching certificate. So I taught one year right out of college in a private school, then stayed home with my kids. I know it was where I was supposed to be. And fortunately, I enjoyed homemaking -- but I've often said, 'NO ONE loves doing anything 24-7.'

Now, with all the girls grown, gone, and married, it was a perfect fit to get back into a classroom. I decided I didn't have the stamina for 2 years in a teacher training program, a year of student teaching, then another year (or more!) waiting for a job opening -- only to teach another 2-4 years. Out of this was born the idea to sub. This has been a great answer for me -- 2-3 days per week -- to know them, encourage them, love them, hopefully motivate them.

Today I read my daughter-teacher's blog about her heavy load in a class with kids that need more than she can give. The world needs more than all of us put together can give! But for a teacher, looking at the kids assigned to her/ him, that's not solace enough. It breaks the heart of a parent to say, "I've done everything I can think of!" and the parent looks for one more chance to direct, or even rescue our kids. Her burden is more than I can imagine.

Whe I sub, I can look at kids and be sad or broken hearted, go home and remember them for months, even years, but I don't have the responsibility of that assigned teacher. I hope ALL of you teachers will bear a burden for your kids, but I hope you will equally lay down your burden at the end of the day, with the One who made the kids, who sees their needs, their longings, their sadness and despair -- who is the only one in the universe who can carry you or them through the tough (and tougher!) times of life.

Today I had a reading time with four kindergartners. One could write no letters but X. Another was determined to be sad because she missed her mom. A third was going to take care of the sad little girl. And the fourth was called (nicknamed) "Guapo" or "Handsome".

"Guapo", named Luigi at birth by his parents, is really a heart-tugger, a handsome little guy. Last December I met him in pre-school, speaking very little English, ready to snuggle up and "read" a book. Guapo will grow up and know how to turn on the charm, because he's doing it already.

One of the greatest blessings in life is the joy of children. But one of the saddest things is children without joy. We are their only hope! Their joy comes from their successes, at school, at home, or with their friends. We can teach them how to play together, how to recognize letters, how to keep trying! We teach them how to find joy in the tough times.

Tomorrow I go back. Today was an exhausting day. The kinders were the easy part. The rough part was the 5th graders who acted like kinders. But I'm needed. We're all needed. To encourage struggling kids, moms and dads who have lost jobs or don't speak English, teachers who are exhausted with what seems an impossible road ahead.

Let's each shore up someone! Send an email, a prayer, a thank-you, a smile -- or just a few minutes of listening. We need each other.

All for my man...

Lots of girls in my generation grew up watching mothers and grandmothers canning together. Some still do. I never lived nearby family after I left for college, and never got into the process when I was at home. We had garden during my middle school years, then not till I was in college.



When my kids were first born, we had access to free peaches. LOTS of peaches -- my favorite fruit. I'd loved peaches since highchair days, and it killed me to see any rotting on the ground. Now, 28 yrs later, I still struggle a little, but not much.



When Jenny and Joy were toddlers, I would peel and pit after they went to bed at night, then rise before them (imagine that!) and do the canning with the waterbath canner. I hated the work! but loved the peaches. The year before Lora was born, I think we canned 98 qts. I must have wanted martyrdom. Still we always ate them.



I remember once when Jenny was about 4, a Saturday night after the Mothers' Day Banquet, when Jenny and Joy together told their version of THE THREE BEARS (so cute!) , Jenny went downstairs to our pantry and managed to carry a jar up the stairs to the kitchen -- only for it to break on the kitchen floor. Sweet syrup all over the floor at 10 pm! plus broken glass......... We all lived through it.













These days I've long let go of canning. Some years I freeze a few pints of peaches -- yellow, not white flesh. Fresh white flesh are honey to eat, but not so good frozen. But I do enjoy making the jam ... just for my man.



My main man, Larry, can, and chooses PB&J for his EVERYday lunch -- unless I pick up a sandwich to share, or we visit Red Robin, or are out of town. Larry loves routine, and life is easier, thus more fun for him, if he knows what to expect and can control it. He starts on tomorrow's breakfast and lunch within 15 minutes of arriving home each night. To me that monotony is depressing; to him inspiring -- he has time to surf the web, make a trip to Lowes, or call me! He doesn't have to worry about lunch!



My mother brought us strawberry freezer jam all the years we were in Georgia. Scrumptious! But no longer available when we moved west. Also, she could only bring a few pints, not enough to keep Larry in stock all winter. He learned to love my jam, and now prefers it.



I picked by myself this year. Usually he takes me to the orchard and makes me taste several different varieties to make sure I like the taste before we start to pick. I DON'T CARE! I love them all. But I've learned to avoid, the bird-pecked, split pit, too small ones. He also usually picks twice what I want, but I don't want to argue. I love them all, but it becomes a burden to get them out of the garage frig before apples are ready for picking. So this year I picked one half box of the luscious white flesh, and a heaping box of yellow flesh.



About 8 days ago I remembered peaches were still sitting in the frig, and jam needed to be completed before subbing began. So I worked HARD for 5 days -- only Saturday off -- and made lots of jam, to last all winter for his PB&Js.



Last year Lora and Andrew took a few pints. Joy's bunch wants only raspberries. It's too heavy to carry or ship to Jenny's bunch. That's OK.



It's funny how work is fun when you're doing it for love. You really have to love a guy who WANTS what YOU make, day after day... after day... after day... after day.......



You know what he does for me? That breakfast he readies 15 minutes after he gets home at night? Oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins (for low cholesterol!) He's adding cinnamon and walnuts now, and perfecting the creaminess! Each morning he checks to see if I'm awake when he makes his. "... Do you want your oatmeal now?" WOW! Every morning a hot bowlfun with a cup of oj.



So glad he doesn't miss the canned peaches--I don't. I do miss never having canned with my mom and sisters. Maybe I would have learned to like it -- or learned some short cuts. I just boil the jam long and keep steaming water on my jars and lids so I don't have to do the whole water bath deal. Lora helped me a couple of years. I miss having the girls closer!



Soon it will be applesauce and apple butter time. I need to get these cuts and burns healed up before then .... My new knives are indeed sharp!

... favorite things ...

Life has changed so much since the girls are grown and gone. I can't believe it's been 8 years since the first two left home. Lora was home summers till she married -- then the empty nest really hit me.

But there are some very special things I like about this new life. Larry is so good to cook for, I can fix almost anything. I like to cook. Baking, on the other hand, is becoming a lost art in this household. If we tried to consume a whole recipe -- well, you wouldn't recognize us. Instead, we have a piece, maybe two, then carry the rest to the guys (4 single guys in their 20's) next door. But usually, I just don't bake.

For supper this week I've made pasta a couple nights, then made a cream sauce and added parmesan cheese. Some nights are salmon, some chicken (Larry will even eat thighs now!) with rice or pasta, and then some steamed or stir fried veggies. Last night we had chunked zuchinni, tomato, mushroom and onion. I added a dab of sugar and butter to the mixture to give it the stewed flavor. Lucious! Larry has always praised my cooking, so serving him is fun.

After dealing with first graders all day I'm just pooped. On those nights we have "Larry's soup". He makes a mean doctored Progresso chicken vegetable soup. He adds onion, zuchini, mushroom, and more seasoning, and you'd never know it came from a can.

Another new favorite is a chicken chili. Sometimes I just add canned (black, kidney, or garbanzo) beans and seasoning to a canned chicken tortilla soup, plus tabasco and pepper flakes. Other times I soak different kinds of beans ahead of time (don't forget to add the soda -- else you'll remember even longer! :) To the chunked chicken and beans, I add tomato sauce, tabasco, hot pepper flakes, black pepper, frozen (or canned) corn -- till it tastes spicy and flavorful. Warm cornbread with butter and a glass of cold milk tops it off. Leftovers are good as first time around.

You may have special toppings, like sour cream, shredded cheddar, or crumbled crackers. You may have other special scratch dishes. Share your "special" dishes, with your household, your friends -- with me!

This week I've spent a lot of time studying our finances. I CAN'T BELIEVE how much we are spending eating out. Surely food has gone up in price, but it's always cheaper to eat at home. The secret (as Sandra Lee says:) is keeping it simple. Of course, "simple" is has many definitions!

But thank goodness for the privilege of having lots of good healthy food so accessible. This is a part of our blessing in being Americans. It's always fun to share. A plate of cookies, a bowl of soup, an appetizer. Hey, the guys next door even took our left-over donuts. (Larry went out for favorites when Joy, Ian and Luke were here last month.)

And Larry's cooking! He is a week-day oatmeal buff, adding raisins, cinnamon, br sugar, and recently -- walnuts! After having it melt-in-your-mouth creamy at a coastal diner, we're working on the simplest way to copy. Currently he's stirring it on the stove top -- and serving me every morning. I'm blessed!

Think of your favorite dish, serve it often with colorful sides to compliment it. Make it a special night with feet up and a movie or favorite series. Eye-appeal and color are often indicators of healthy food.

Enjoy!

... thankful...

We're home ... from a long anticipated visit with Larry's brothers and parents traveling from the East ... and a long anticipated 3-day-respit. Both were good.

It was so good, as always, watching Ian and Luke enjoy life. Hearing Ian's deep musings, (" ... so what is 'ur fab'wit, Gwamma?" "Favorite? Favorite what, Ian?" "Fab'wit cumput'r." "Oh! What is my favorite computer game?") We were sitting out on Uncle Tim's patio while most of the rest of the family were eating inside. Ian loves using Dad's laptop, playing the games Gramma Lynn bought for his birthday. It's just funny hearing a three-year-old voice a question like that -- and that he would even ask someone else's opinion rather than just voicing his own. Hmmmm. Must have earned that somewhere....

I enjoyed the time visiting with the family, being with the brothers and sisters-in-law. We're so blessed -- just to get along so well, AND to enjoy one another. Larry's dad and mom are gracious, proud AND grateful for the family, and tickled to see the great-grandkids play.

Luke was fascinated with Mom's choice of a tablecloth for the birthday party. He spent 10 minutes going round and round thetable naming the trains, especially citing each repeat of Thomas. And Ian was mesmerized with Mom's creations in the frig. What a love gift! Amazing how gifts to please someone else so often end up blessing you!

The party was fun, watching family help put together toys or play with the boys. Someday maybe there will be more little cousins to play with. We're really thankful, after 30 years of birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings with just our immediate family.

But now, back home, alone, a little tired, I'm so so so thankful.

I'm thankful for my children and their families.

I'm thankful for parents that hung together in good and bad, and always tried to love each other more.

I'm thankful for a man I can trust, who does his best each day at his

job, who treasures his family.

I'm thankful for a home and freedom. For income. For the trust. For the safety. While watching opening ceremonies of the Olympics, I heard of a country where average income is $150/ year. Such pressure on these athletes to win!

I'm thankful to have been a mom, to have taught, encouraged and loved children. These children have found great spouses. Together they are each teaching, loving and encouraging others. Life is hard, but God is good.

Now, the next chapter! One daughter recently reminded me how God meets our needs like He cares for the flowers of the fields. God will give me wisdom to know what to do and how to "be" in this new chapter. It's mysterious ... but I'm thankful for the freedom to march ahead without fear!

Keep looking up!

...wow! so much has happened since my last entry. Larry has been so busy with work; Joy and the kids were here; and we've had to say good by to Missy....

I'm so tired of emotional things. When we're tired, we tend to hang our heads, literally, emotionally, spiritually. A friend, seeking for herself, reminded me of the answer, on Sunday... that we can't let ourselves quit believing that God is still working.

Today I got up and decided that no matter what, I'm going to be thankful. I'm overwhelmed on one hand -- but on the other hand, there is a whole lot of "wonderful!" going on around me. And if I have to remind myself of the wonderful things four times a day -- well, that will be what fills my mind!

I'm thankful for the beautiful hills -- and thankful they aren't rolling down on us! Geology tells us they were volcanoes thousands of years ago. I'm thankful for a terrific man who calls me 3-4 times a day -- after 30 years of marriage! And that I don't like taking a trip out of town without him -- even if it's to see grandkids! I'm thankful that God listens to little ole me, bumbling, stumbling, oh-so-human. I'm thankful for cell phones and kids that call me, for grandkids that say, "you're my fwiend!", and that I don't have cancer!

I may get over one bump and not see the mound I must climb around the next bend -- but I don't want to see it yet. For today I'll just enjoy the sunshine, the flowers growing in the sidewalk cracks -- and the time and eyes that will let me sew. How I love to sew!

For tonight this is enough. I'm going to make tomorrow a good day too!

The Fun of Laughing Together

Today was as therapeutic as it gets for young grandparents like us! We spent it with Joel and Debbie Penfold. When our girls were young, they often commented that Joel's jokes and Larry's jokes were both corny to about the same degree. Corny or not, we had a great day laughing at together.

Debbie fixed a green salad and deviled eggs, and I cut up strawberries, blueberries and bananas, picked up potato salad, KFC chicken strips and biscuits (yes!) and we had a feast. Down to a picnic table along the river, on an old plastic table cloth, with plastic forks, good food, and even better friends.

We'd planned to go to Leavenworth for minature golf afterwards, the course owned by the Enzian that is below the hill where the goats graze. Oh, it was beautiful, green, warm but not sweltering. We laughed about our 6 putt holes, and the the hole in 2, going over the hill, or taking 4 putts to go 4 feet. One time we were laughing and Joel said, "Quit laughing! This is serious business!" I can SO hear Ian saying that! Joel had some bad shots and said it was because of his glasses, then good shots so we yelled, "Keep the glasses!"

The laughs were good for us all, especially for Birthday BOY, Larry! And Fathers' Day, as well. A great time to reminisce, make new (bad) jokes, and just enjoy the beautiful weather.

We talked about grandkids, sharing stories and the joy of today just thinking of them -- not having to push strollers or keep an eye on them (smile!). We talked about how sons-in-law would take the golf much more seriously than we did. We asked the attendant at the gate to take our picture, and Joel even had her doubled over laughing. Laughter -- definitely the best medicine!

Now I'm drained -- and Larry is working on the kitchen again..... Bless his heart! He has connected the kitchen and dining rooms. He'll probably finish the kitchen tonight and hallway tomorrow. By Tuesday evening maybe I can have my lighting fixtures in place!

I feel like crashing. I have to go back over and edit spelling of every other line, so I think it's time.....

Weekend Treasures

A weekend with family. You appreciate it so much when you have it so seldom.
Grandkids bring the most laughs, but daughters and sons-in-law give good hugs as well!

We had lunch with each couple, fell asleep watching TV, enjoyed visiting the newest family to the Northwest -- Larry's brother Tim, and then chased the (little) boys. It was Ian and Luke at the park, Ian and Luke in the backyard, Ian and Luke at donuts. Here are pics of a previous Sat morning donuts.

You can see this is serious business with the boys -- and for Emily it was donut #2. Emily wasn't present in Nampa, but can chow down with the best!

One of the highlights of a visit is seeing the new depths of their thinking -- and talking. Following are a few of MY "Favorite Grandkids' Sayings":

1. Little brother to BIG brother: "Ian, you go timeout!"

2. Ian: "Leave me alone!" Lukey: "But I luz you!"

3. Grandma: "Shall we make a river here in the sandbox?" Ian: "OUR Mom says NO WATER in sandbox!"

4. Lukey, in bedroom for diaper or shorts, he pulls out rocking horse to show Grandma. We play a minute, and Grandma says, "OK, let's go." Lukey: "...pu' back", and he puts it back into place.

5. Ian, delivering loud howl, to which everyone turns with fear! "What's wrong, Ian?" Ian: "My twain fell off the twak!"

6. Ian: "O, look, Lukey, a bug...(watching back and forth movement for 3-4 minutes)...see, he's coming for my foot." (still interested) (SMASH!) "He's gone." (end of story!)

7. Ian: "Papa, your hair is too long. You need a haircut."

8. Ian building in sandbox, Grandma sitting, leaning on one hand, building w/other. "No, Grandma, two hands!"

9. In car, both boys singing "Wheels on the Bus" w/ Grandma. Grandma honks horn w/ 2 hands. Ian: "NO, one hand to honk."

10.Ian and Dad up ahead. Lukey: "I cumin', Dad. I cumin', Ian." (translated, "PLEASE wait for me!)

One more day...

I think Friday, the 30th, will be my last sub day for this school year. I've had 3 days at Orondo this week. It's a great place. I learned about one teacher that waited 10 years to get on staff at Orondo. There are 19 kids in each of the 6th and 7th gr classes, about 30 in the 5th grade. I had 5th and 6th the past two days, while the 7th was off on their annual field trip. Good kids. We talked about going to the doc, why the doc needs to hear from the patient (esp when he/ she is 12) rather than just the mom. Why the doc needs to know how you feel, rather than how your mom thinks you feel.

In the afternoon I read to the 5th graders, and taught sixth graders how to play online sudoku. Also listened to some of their personal stories, of moves, siblings, gardens. Stuff that shows family values they come from. One of the sharpest girls in 6th has only lived in the valley for 10 months. I'd like to meet her folks. I had her sister in 4th grade.

Last Friday I had first grade. Uh-boy.... try to get them quiet, even in a line -- two weeks before the end of school. In the morning I thought, "...maybe I'm just way too easy and that's why the kids like me.... maybe I shouldn't be in this job...." By afternoon, when we were out with track and field, and I was cheering on the petite little kinder girl who ran like the wind, or the shy and defensive boy who won first in Boys First grade, I fell in love again. My first grade class had a new girl, who didn't speak English yet, who hung on me. I understood about half of what she said, and had to keep telling her "my mind is slow... speak more slowly..." (smile!) because she rambled -- but was excited, enjoying herself, and fitting in beautifully with the others. I can cheer! I can encourage! -- I can learn to deal with rough days; just need a quiet summer to catch up with myself.

Today I'm back to -- ugh! cleaning, bill paying, etc.

This is always good for me...

NO FARTHER AWAY THAN TODAY by Helen Lowrie Marshall

No farther away than Here and Today is the loveliest place I know --
A small secret spot in a walled garden plot where all the nice memories grow.

It's bordered with kindness and sprinkled with smiles and shaded by friendly trees --
This small quiet place in that walled garden space with its bright little memories.

And I think about this -- how, if I were to miss one day with my rake and my hoe
In planting the seeds of a few kindly deeds, it would mean fewer memories to grow.

So I try every hour to plant a new flower, and strike down a weed in the way
Where the nice memories grow in that spot that I know, no farther than Here and Today.

Seeing the Other Side

Well, this has been our temporary kitchen for the past 3 weeks. Not too bad, really. We plug the microwave into a power strip, and the coffee maker, George Foreman or toaster into an extension cord that goes out to the garage. After a half dozen times flipping the breaker -- we learned!

Supper can be about anything we want -- as long as we do it on the GF rather than the stove -- and we have the energy. We didn't always have the energy WITH the stove in place, so soup is always a must-have staple. Last night we had Southwestern vegetarian soup, with addition of garbanzo and black beans, and some good black pepper. Yummy! My bowl was too big!

Bill is doing awesome job too! He raised the ceiling, taped and textured both kitchen and dining rooms, and we painted over the weekend. Randy and Julie stopped Saturday night to check, and then offered (we accepted!) to help us finish walls. I had done ceiling early in day and my poopy arm was tired. I can go back and add second coat little bit at a time.

On left is wall backing bathroom, where stove goes. Center is facing backyard, and whole is for dishwasher. The right is NEW CABINETS ON WALL and below, where microwave cart was before. Peninsula will be in third picture, but MUCH prettier than before. SO much more cabinet space. I hope I don't fill it all! I had stacked so much stuff in old cabinets, that I can imagine filling it all easily.

Dear Larry. He's so overwhelmed. He's already looking ahead to the next mountain range (scraping the ceilings!). I think he's doing it for me. Somehow I just don't communicate myself to him vey well. I guess it's the old story of men seeing facts, and women seeing relationships. He sees an ongoing project; I see ongoing dust. Today I'm going to capture as much dust as I can! along with doing finances, calling doctors, checking on payroll mistakes, doing laundry -- and getting ready to go back to school tomorrow. He needs time off! -- but won't take it! Always feels pressure from somewhere. I don't want to do anything to make his pressure worse.

So today I'll be thankful! ALL day! And do what I need to do, to make myself encouraging to him!

If that sounded unsettled, let it be known:

I think I have the best of both worlds ...

I enjoy it ...

and I'm thankful.

To Be or Not To Be!

Sub PERKS
1. "Who wants to kiss the teacher?" (1st)
2. "You get the FUN award!" (1st)
3. Lots of Hugs at recess
4. "You remembered names pretty well." (with surprise!) (4th)
5. "Teacher, will you draw me a flower too?" (5th - making Mothers' Day cards)

Sub CHALLENGEs
1. "Who wants to sit facing the board?!" (today, 5th)
2. "OK, you two, up here, NOW."
3. to the student sent to the wall 2 periods in a row, (a gentle) "Who are you mad at? Students or teacher?" (nothing but tears.... and later cooperation!)
4. REG TEACHER: "Now this child has bathroom challenges.... I give him a wink...."
5. 4 Kinders telling me how to do, 5 more talking, 2 boys wrestling in center of the group, and we're supposed to be in library 10 minutes ago! (K)

BALANCE?
1. " 'Sup?" (student's approach!)
2. I can turn ringer off!
3. No lesson plans or meetings.
4. I don't have to fix things or people, just get through the day.
5. I appreciate the REG teachers!

... one more thing to slow us down.....

The house next door finally sold last fall to some young guys the ages of our kids. They are fixing up to flip -- GREAT! Last night they had a party -- we weren't invited, but could have stepped right in because we could hear it all. Those dear young men don't realize their neighbors are the ages of THEIR parents, and we all go to bed at 9 and DON'T sleep through parties! At midnight I heard one guy tell the group that a lady had already called and said they were too loud (someone beat me to it!) -- nobody listened. About 1 am one car -- with a, no doubt customized and LOUD, muffler, left! (I had THOT I was back to sleep) At about 2 another left, and maybe another hour later a third car. Maybe it was the same car coming and going, but it was all LOUD! I couldn't yell at the guys, but I think I'll fix them LOTS of yummy brownies, and go tell them a story.....

Today we skipped church and went early to work in the lab. First we picked 20 flowers off of 40 trees = 800 flowers. Then we went back to the lab and started pulling the flowers apart. We'd finished about half of the flowers when I left at 3 pm. Larry and Janet are on their own now 'cause I have to be rested to teach tomorrow -- first graders! After Larry and Janet finish dissecting all those flowers, they plan to plate -- or mark HUNDREDS (yes, I mean hundreds) of plates with the infection which we sprayed onto the flowers on Friday. After THAT is done, they will go back out to the orchard and spray more infection. I don't think there are enough hours in this day to get it all done.

I CAN'T FIX ANYONE. Therefore, only God can give Larry wisdom as well as strength. They are both almost as tired as I am. I am not getting paid, thus I can refuse (really?) to do the work. I just feel terrible to not be able to help them, but I can't do that and be ready for tomorrow.

Who knows? Maybe the crunch will force him to re-think the plan and come up with a better one!

Signing off........zzzzzzzzzz...........mmmmmmmmmmm

Best Laid Plans?

Once again, best laid plans are BLOWN apart -- by interruptions! You'd think that by 54 a smart girl like me wouldn't even expect things to happen according to plan. But I tend to get thrown off course when a project drrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaggggggggggggssssss along. After 30 years, I realize Larry loves really getting into his projects, and that solving a previously unmet challenge would excite him. But I didn't count on 3 other major projects holding up things even longer!

Larry and the neighbor spent 2 weekends "pruning" this monster, which we finally deduced hadn't been pruned in 10 years. It was invading and restricting growth in 2 neighbor yards (and had probably assisted in death of trees in the 3rd neighbor's yard. Rather scary watching your husband totering -- in a tree -- only one leg on solid tree stump, the other knee leaning against a trunk -- chain saw runnnnnnnning. I stood and prayed! The neighbor, Eric was very helpful, and threw ropes around these chunks to help them land -- NOT on a fence or a person. They HAD to bring them down in chunks (see pic) for safety all the way around. The first weekend was cut short by SNOW! Second weekend -- to my dismay -- took all day Saturday AND Sunday. They quit about 7 Sunday night -- we watched a movie and ate dinner. Too tired to go out.

Since Sunday we've spent every night clearing the brush in the back yard. Larry used the tools (don't know names!) you use to split wood, to cut these guys into pieces small enough to lift into a wheelbarrow. I used pruners to cut off smaller limbs, and just broke brush, piling it till he could carry all to the side of house. WE'RE ALMOST DONE! Just as it's time for his BIG SPRING BLOOM!

Man! I wish we could have finished before bloom began. Thankfully we should be able to finish in one more day, but work in his orchard begins today. I may go out and snap and pile more before he calls me to work sometime today.

I've just not answered my phone for sub calls this week. I worked in Orondo on Wednesday and always LOVE those middle schoolers, but Larry wanted me to be available the rest of the week. -- HAD AN INTERESTING DAY on Wednesday! The teacher had lesson plans for my teaching the reproductive system to a mixed class -- boys AND girls -- 6th and 7th greades. They started snickering as soon as they opened their books, but we began the discussion with: "We're going to be respectful of each other -- all of us...." And the discussion went very well. I told them the teacher thought they must be mature enough to handle it -- and they were! -- Yesterday I checked, and there were 6 subbing jobs available in Eastmont for today by 4 pm. I just can't do both. Either 2 hours of working brush, or all day with kids, wears me out.

Lora and Andrew are coming home today, and I want to spend time with them, so I probably won't work in the orchard Saturday or Sunday. I work Mon, Tues, and Wed at Orondo, so I'd have to be rested for that. Poor Larry. I'll miss being with them (him and Janet). I've always taken them food -- at least. Fortunately they've massively streamlined their procedures this week.

Well, we still have an unfinished living room floor -- and dining room -- kitchen -- and hallway. Hopefully he'll get back to them next week -- hopefully! He's taken on finishing work that previous "remodelers" left undone (the guy who sold us the house 15 years ago!), and Larry always does MORE than a professional job -- in fact, the pros I've asked advice from said they'd have done less of a job than he. BUT it takes time. I told him last night that I've decided perfectionism is his "hobby". (JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT, I guess.) (BUT WE"RE NOT BUILDING ANOTHER HOUSE!)

We tore out carpet mid-February. Above, see the great beginnings we had 2 weeks later with the work he'd done on

the flooring. Here, to right see flooring after he realized he needed to finish an edge to the tile around hearth. He spent a week deciding which edging material to use, then began meticulously mortaring them onto hearth. He now only has end of hearth next to windows. THEN we /HE will begin re-placing the laminate pieces which are already cut and EAGER to be put in place.

Kitchen cabinets and counter tops are ORDERED. 50% paid for! A COMMITMENT! I need to be home more so I can begin emptying kitchen and carrying things downstairs in preparation for doing my food prep elsewhere. THAT part I'm not upset about. I'll see daily progress. It's when I can't see the progress that I get frustrated.

He just called, and they are ready for me at CV. I need a quick shower -- and then off to the newest -- interruption! All for love!

Last week was good

... but sometimes I don't see that till I step back.

Last week was busy. What week isn't? I started off the week with a teaching assignment on Monday that I received at 8:25 AM. I had one half hour to shower, dry, and get to the school. It turned out to be a good day -- I enjoyed the kids, Spec Ed even -- but it was draining. I had an evening headache, took tylenol and two cokes about 8 pm -- and didn't get to sleep till 3 am. Not good.

Tuesday I vegged. Really didn't get much accomplished at home. I find that my motivation level is minimal at home with the ongoing mess of the remodeling. The mess frustrates me, but even after I work on it, there still seems to be so much (mess) that I feel like "why try!" I don't think I'm made for this kind of living, ongoing.

Dear Daughter was my re-direction and inspiration, reminding me to rely on God. I was so tizzied, I didn't know how to pray, but I began praying, "God, help me know how to respond!" We have more difficulty with communication than usual at stress times, and it took several efforts, but we bridged that river together! and worked together on ideas the rest of the week.

I taught Wednesday and Friday as well, and had a good time with the kids. Wednesday was pre-school, and those cuties are easy, almost too easy. I like a little more challenge. Friday was middle schoolers, and were they EVER a challenge! I couldn't be mean with them, because I liked them, but I didn't like their high buzz level. (They had finished several days of testing.) We made it through, and I had some fun memories. With one kid I was able to share my story of going to school with a current state university coach, and asked him, "Can you see yourself coaching football someday?" "Uh, YES!" he answered. "This is why you need math!" He understood. Then at supper we encountered one of the boys in the wildest class of the day; I said hi, and he said, "... remember Gabriel's broken leg today?!" Ha! Yes, it was wild. No broken leg, but a faked one. These middle schoolers are all about entertaining, or confusing, one another or the teacher, especially a substitute. I told teachers in the lunch room that I felt like shark bait. But good memories!

Saturday came and went without seeming to accomplish a lot, but Larry and I did resolve a step on our flooring project. Now we are waiting to borrow a saw to cut ceramic ..... Life is all about waiting, isn't it? Waiting on someone else to grow up, or on ourselves to understand (which is actually our own growing up...).

And Sunday was a fun day talking online to grandkids! Ian's bedtime prayer included, "Yeah, Jesus!" because he'd learned "YEAH!" was what people said when they threw down the palm branches -- so why not say it to Jesus again!!! And Luke, when Mama was talking to Ian, kept saying, "... my gamma, my gamma, my gamma, my gamma..." the way kids do when you don't answer them immmediately. We also had a fun half hour playing with friends' little guy who needed a nap while they went to softball practice -- and we played grandparents-babysitting for them for a while. Papa Larry loves these boy toys!

Life is good, but I am sometimes so tired I feel rather than think. I felt frustrated, and wanted that known. I'm sorry. (sad face!) Sleep is really important to me anymore. When I was young, I resented having to stop for it; now I have to give up things I want to get it.

I thank God for my Larry. I frustrate him as much as he frustrates me, or so he says. (smile!) He loves a card I bought him that shows a little girl with her eyes crossed to show her frustration. It says, "Of all the people who frustrate me, I love you the most." But I want my love for him to show, more than frustration.

God, help me see all Your Good in today. And help me LOOK for it!

Today I got an 8:25 AM call that a teacher came to work but wasn't feeling well. I had been laying in bed reading, but jumped up, took a 5 minute shower, dried body and hair, grabbed an outfit, and made it into the middle school office within 35 minutes. The poor teacher looked miserable, so I was eager to do anything I could to let her leave asap.

The kids were spec ed. Far from non functional, mostly hispanic, but several with apparent psychological or physiological needs. It went OK. It actually went very well. The para left me with gracious words by the end of the day.

By the last period, the activity the teacher planned for me to use in most classes had already been done on the class present. So we read a little, then took turns on computer, and talked. One cute hispanic girl responded when I asked questions about herself and her family. We were interrupted several times, but when the interruption passed, she went on, "... so my mom did (this or that), or my sister....." Another boy had just been in the US for 3 months but was doing daily practice on words and sounds, with dictation, spelling, and reading. He had excellent comprehension and speech for only 3 months of English.

I probably won't get back there again, even tho the para said she'd recommend me. I did enjoy the class. This has become a part of life where I accept that my job was to pass through and plant some seeds, then pray for the process someone else will watch mature. I don't worry about how they handle it anymore. There are lots of good teachers doing their best, and being very effective. We have an excellent system in WA; I wish mykids' systems were as supportive. I pray for the kids I saw today, kids I'll see on Friday when I sub a math class I've done about 3 times, pray I'll be up to it, not be short or blind to what "games" they try or what they really can teach me.

My greatest lesson in this time is that it isn't about me. Tonight I am awake at 3 am -- haven't made the snooze yet. Who knows why? So tomorrow will be pretty fruitless. But the next day I have a call for working pre-school, so I'll need to sleep tomorrow. But what I do is about the footprints I leave, not the name or a post. I am one nail in the structure they are becoming. Each nail counts, and I want to do my best, that the rungs hung on my watch are strong and hung with confidence.

Life is good at 54, just a little different. I wait patiently till I can see grandkids a few times a week, watch them play in the sand, come run to me, or just smile when I come out to watch their play. This is my "something in the meantime", loving kids here till I can love kids there. It will all fit together in the big puzzle.

The floor moves along 2-3 feet per day. It looks beautiful! Like it was always meant to be there. I need to start visiting Lowe's and Home Depot looking for connecting tiles to put around the fireplace tiles, new registers, bathroom fixtures, etc. I also need to pack away the dishes he took out of the buffet, and the books and dishes in the cupboards we will remove above the peninsula. Friday night we had dinner with Joel and Debbie and now want a packed away book to loan them. WOW! I get so impatient with transition.

But as I sat and thought during Communion yesterday morning, Pastor's words took me into thoughts of serving the people around us. Who should I be serving any more than my husband? I know what he most needs: the grace to enjoy this project. He really is enjoying constructing it and watching it come together beautifully. He is an excellent workman. Just couldn't do it for a living because he wants it to be perfect. But in his (temporary) castle, he can take his time. In the next castle we'll likewise choose projects he can do slowly, and contract out projects Mama needs done more quickly.

Bill came by this morning to talk about raising our kitchen ceiling, and having higher cabinets. I can't imagine the cabinets, but I can imagine the lighting being higher and not on my back. I'm so eager! Too many times I am disappointed when a project is completed, because I allowed my expectations to swing too high with my excitement. I can't imagine being disappointed with this! I've never had a new house -- this will at least be part of a new house! The living floor is beginning to look like a new house. I'm grateful, and looking forward to having a new house in Nampa. Nonetheless, I'd rather be in Nampa with the kids and not have a new house than continue to live 8 hours away!!!

God, thank you for dreams, of new floors and chocolate rivers, and of some realization. But thank you also for the security that my life is not dependent on the people or things that give me this joy. YOU give me stability, no matter if the rivers or the money disappear, or the joints can't lay the floors --or whatever disappointments come. Someone said, 'joy is not in things, it is in us.' I need to pledge myself on the good days, to pick up that focus on the bad days.

Home again, we are back to our projects -- well, the first in the series!

A Memory with great-grandpas

Both sets of great-grandparents (and the grandparents as well) were thrilled the generations could meet. We're so grateful for their modeling as well as love and support!